Put on, take off your thinking cap

Every time I write I seem to make the entry longer than the last one. This week was incredible--we did some amazing things in the laboratory and I enjoyed some more good fun with my classmates.

Last weekend I finally got to see some people from my family! My grandma and aunt were visiting from Seattle for a wedding and so I joined them for dinner at the Olive Garden --yum yum! She was so kind-- she even brought me brownies, which are all gone now. That Saturday I attended a wedding, which was also attended by more family and friends from Seattle church. It was so good to see them and get to hang out for a bit. The wedding itself was beautiful--deep red and fall leaf decor, a gorgeous bride, and meaningful music, including "All I ask of you" from the Phantom of the Opera (I always thought that would make a beautiful wedding piece!!).

On Monday I went on my first "ward walk" where a couple of medical students get to follow around a resident for an hour or so and experience the hospital and listen to interesting patients. I was so excited to be in the hospital, and the resident was a really good teacher.

So I must tell about this week in laboratory! It was so exciting--we really had to put on our thinking caps (eNORMOUS amount of info) but at the same time, we took off some people's thinking caps. Yes, I really mean it--we cracked open the skulls of our cadavers and removed the brain!! Imagine our anticipation as we lift the lid, our eyes get wide and our ears center into the teacher as she snips away the connection between the brain and the rest of the body. I actually held it in my hands. It was kind of a spiritually enlightening experience as well. Think about it (haha)--I was holding a huge mass of tissue which physically contains the thoughts, memories, experiences, words, of this person. And yet--as Christians we believe that the soul continues on after death, the soul which has all these memories (how else would we know who we are in Heaven?), the essence of the person, their connection with God and other people. And so somehow even in those of us who are alive, there is something within us that is beyond tissue that will one day stand before God.

We also dissected the ears and eyes this week--amazing!!! The eye and ear are so intricately and perfectly designed, yes, designed. The Ear: designed for the transfer of sound waves in the air to waves in liquid to electical signals (in the case of hearing) and the position of fluid in the ear to give us a sense of three-demensional space and position. The eye transfers packets of light through various liquids and lenses to be changed into electrical signals which we perceive as vision. Both the professors were saying that hearing and sight actually take place in the brain--now that's an interesting thought! Without the brain we couldn't integrate these signals into a thought. Oh dear--I think I really am going to far with this philosophy stuff--but it's mind boggling (haha!)!

On the lighter side, I have really had a fun weekend, and so am putting up some pictures to tell the story. A bunch of us students went to a haunted corn maze--www.portlandmaze.org where people dress up in crazy costumes, hide in the corn and JUMP out at you and rustle the leaves as you wander the labrynth underneath a sliver moon and wide expanse of stars. Talk about having your system and senses on high alert! It really was scary because you know that there are creatures hiding but you don't know when they'll get ya. It's only fun because you're with friends and can hang onto each other and spook and laugh.

The only thing I like about Oct 31 weekend is it's a chance to play dress-up like in my childhood, hang with friends, and be creative. Thursday night I decided I would make a costume. And so in honor of the week's dissection I made an EYEBALL costume! My roommate thought I was pretty crazy I'm sure. I used whatever materials around I could find since I didn't have my parent's or grandparents' basements to raid. (By the way, that thing on my head is supposed to be the eyebrow).

This Saturday evening, Brian and Julie, a couple from my med class who are wonderful Christian people, had some of us over for a harvest pumpkin party. Julie is an awesome cook--she made a huge pumpkin stew, actually cooking a carved-out carving pumpkin and then putting the stew inside. Then when you eat the stew you scoop out some pumpkin too. We also carved pumpkins--and of course, dorky med students that we are, Brian got out Netter's anatomic atlas so he could carve a skull into his. A couple of the people hadn't carved pumpkins in a long time (or ever) so it was fun to see them get their hands all yucky. Of course, some of the people said "why didn't we just get some scapels?" we're so used to using those. Anyhow, we had a wonderful time of fellowship. I think I'm beginning to be able to let down and be my goofy self around people now that I'm getting to know them. Hopefully they don't mind or think I'm too wack :)

Pterygopalatine ganglion, vestibulococchlear, and other imaginative words

I can't believe it's already been almost 2 weeks since I've posted. My apologies.

We've already finished block 3--the perineum and lower limb, so I won't really say much about that. But I have been having fun with friends: on Saturday we had another ultimate game of ultimate frisbee, which turned out to be quite intense. I think guys feed off each other's testosterone. But it was defintely a good workout, and FUN. A few of us afterward ended up (after showering...) for dinner at Brian and Julie's and then played BALDERDASH, which partially explains the title for my blog entry. Balderdash is a game where you make up definitions to OUTLANDISH words and try to fool other people into thinking that your definition is correct while picking the correct definition yourself. The funny thing is that our vocabulary for med school is actually wierd enough to end up on the cards--for example, "gubernaculum" which is part of the lining of the abdominal cavity that descends with the testis or ovary during embryogenesis. Of course, the game card didn't say that in so many words because that also wouldn't be very interpretable. Anyhow there were lots of laughs and you get the point.

Which brings me to the other half of the title. We just started working on the head and neck, including learning all about the "crainial nerves" which control a lot of your senses and major organs along with your facial muscles. VERY complicated winding things with long names. In lab, this meant the great "reveal": On Tuesday we took off the head shroud and revealed the faces of our cadavers with whom we have formed intimate relationships. It was strange, and in many ways I was NOT looking forward to it because I didn't know how I would react or feel. It turns out that I reacted very differently than I expected--I wasn't emotional in a sad way, as some were, or felt like there was a moral delimma, as some other students felt. I actually felt more of a rush of compassion. I felt like they were a person, and that I was caring for them, even though I was doing totally the opposite by taking everything apart. They felt more human. It still is strange, odd, and surreal because they cannot talk, they have no breath or pain, and the rest of their body is totally dismantled. They have no soul there. But at one time they did. And now we are receipients of the gift of what their soul did not take with it.

On Sunday I enjoyed church a lot. I went back to a place called Mosaic--a community church in the Hollywood district with a real heart "to follow Jesus in authentic community for the world." The pastor told the story of family who has a vegitative son who is given no hope for ever communicating to the world. But through technology they find he can type by moving his head to one side. Eventually the son wants to race to raise money for a paralyzed classmate. The father says that it is impossible, and yet the father trains himself and pushes his son in the race. The son says "when you do that, I feel like I'm not disabled anymore." And so begins a life of racing, triatholons, marathons, etc. all with the dad pushing, pulling, biking his son along. They showed scenes of this while the song "I can only imagine" played. It was an amazing story which brought tears to our eyes. And then he related it to how Christ, like this father, has lavished his love on us, and done everything for us and our redemption.

I am excited--today I received my copy of Voice of the Martyrs publication--a free newsletter that will help me keep abreast of the status of Christians under persercution in various parts of the world. They included a prayer map in there of countries where Christians are under severe persecution and I put it up on my wall. I first read this newsletter when I was in China of all places, and I was astonished at what is going on, especially in Muslim countries. I had heard about China's difficulties, but little about South America or Muslim countries like Indonesia, and I want to be a part of praying for my brothers and sisters who undergo such hardship. Today at our weekly CMDA meeting (Christian Medical and Dental Assoc) a few of us went on a prayer walk around our school campus, and I was really refreshed by it. We prayed for our classmates, ourselves, faculty, doctors, and patients. I am so glad there is a community on campus who have a heart for our school, as God's presence is greatly needed here.

Well, it is time to shut this random monologue off. There is much more I could say, conversations I could relay, but alas, med school requires studying, and I have done little today (1. because class went until 5pm 2. after class I went to a lecture/dinner) and this week is quite busy. Last night was fun--a couple t-bones and I spent an hr playing together and actually making music. We're hoping to get good enough to play for the students or something at Christmas, though one of the t-bones mentioned the possible complication of that not being PC. Pook on being PC. Well, of to the rest of the week which includes flu shot, basic live saving training, and STUDYING!

A time for hard work, a time for friendship

Well, exam #2 is on the books now. After the exam, a few Christian friends and I gathered at a fellow classmate's house where his wife cooked us a delicious meal of homemade lasagna. We sat around the table an laughed and joke about nerdy-med school things, and just enjoyed letting down and fellowshipping after a hard weekend. We even got in a couple games of Apples to Apples--it's a great way to get to know people while having a hearty laugh. I really enjoy spending time with my classmates!

On Tuesday night I finally got together with a few second-years and did some "tromboning action". We pulled out the t-bones in the lecture hall around 9:30pm, and despite our rough sound, had a lot of fun. We're hoping to have it be a regular event, and perhaps if we get good enough, we can play for our classmates sometime.

Wednesday was another long day, especially considering what we did in the lab. Yes, this lab was the day for external genitalia dissection#2, and I approached it with trepidation because we were to reinact the Bobbit case. By the end of lab we couldn't bring ourselves to actually transect the penis, but some lab groups did. When we viewed the prosected cadaver, I could almost see the color drain from the guys' faces as the demonstrator showed them the transected tissue. The female's day of discomfort came on Thursday when the lecturer talked about the stress the female body goes through during childbirth, especially in light of how much stretching has to go on to accomodate a child's head.
Thankfully at lunchtime CMDA had prayer, and it felt really good to come together and pray for eachother and for our classmates and community. That evening some of us gathered at a local doctor-couple's house to hear a panel of healthcare workers speak on how they incoporate their work into their faith and use their life situations for ministry. It was really encouraging to hear how people genuinely "live it out" in a sometimes hostile world. An elderly lady who had served a whole career serving women in Pakistan through medicine was there too, and it was very cool to hear a few stories from her. I am quite thankful for CMDA and the kindness of local doctors and their mission to train up others. Before coming to med school, I had no idea that such great people-resources would be available.

Today is Saturday, and I have not done enough work, but I did spend time in friendship. I went for a long walk with a new gal-friend sharing our hearts, and talked for awhile with my family on the phone. Later I spent time with my extended Lebanese family at a birthday party for their twin 3-year-old boys. It felt really good to hang out with young kids who aren't afraid to touch you or hug you or climb all over you and who speak so matter-o-factly about life. They were sooo cute! And I enjoyed some good ol' fashioned Lebanese food--fatire, fatush, and BBQ tender baby ribs!!! I even tried fresh figs for the first time (I had only had dried figs before), which is particularily relevant since "Teeny" means fig.

Anyhow, it is now time to end my synopsis of the week--it's getting late and I don't want to be bushed for church tomorrow!

Fall is beautiful

Study hard, play hard

Med school is intense. We spend at least 10hrs (more on test weekends like this one) in cadaver lab, 14hrs in lecture, and probably 15-20hrs studying a week. Sometimse I get cabin fever, and sit outside, or go to a park (like I did today--Council Crest Park, the highest park in P0rtland), or just sit in the recliner in the living room. Or I go for long walks or short runs. But med school is such a unique and interesting experience, and I'm forming friendships with very cool people, some who have similar interests, and some who do totally wacky things and come from all walks of life. A couple Fridays ago I had a group of people over to play one of my all-time favorite games, Scrabble. I think there's quite a few people who like scrabble in our class, and we even suggested double points for anatomy words. I was suprised however, how laid back people were--I was all ready to be really competitive, instead we sat around chatting in between plays and listening to classical music in the background. There was a free BBQ earlier that evening and so we all went to that which was really nice 1 because of free food, but 2 because we spend so much time in class together that it was nice to just get to hang out. This week we've been working on the abdomen and the abyss, that is, the pelvis. There is a LOT that lives in your pelvis. We also had a few lectures on angiography, which is a method for visualizing arteries and veins by either injecting contrast or dye into them and watching it with x-rays or using a computer to create 3D images of the pathways they travel. It's really quite beautiful, especially when the arteries are all curvy twisty, like the splenic artery which gives blood to your spleen. Tomorrow we have exam 2 and it's defintely taken a lot of studying--only 3 weeks of material, but we've covered A LOT. Our exams are both written and practical, meaning we take a multiple choice test and a test where we identify structures on cadavers.

Friday I decided that I was going to organize an ultimate frisbee game for Saturday afternoon--and boy was Saturday a beautiful day! There was about 9 of us, and so we got a good run in, and some of the people there were quite good with the disc. But then we were tired, and took a break and just tossed them around, which eventually turned into doing cartwheels and handstands and sumersaults. Yes, that's right. a bunch of med students playing gymnast on a soccer field. It was a great break from studying.

So you might wonder, do you do anything else besides study? After preceptorship on Thursday night my great Uncle and Aunt who were missionaries in Argentina for 36 years were in town from California, so we had dinner together with family at Home Country Buffet. I love those buffet places, though it's hard to control oneself there, especially with unlimited desert options and all the kinds of things that I don't cook for myself like PRIME RIB steak. Oh man--I haven't eaten beef in quite a while. But as Jessica often tells my dad, "You don't get your money's worth when you're sick, you get it when you're full." Good wisdom Jess, but hard to follow.

Today is Sunday and (besides studying for our major test) it has been a good Sabbath. I am liking Sundays more than I used to I think. I mean, I love giving and serving at church, and loving people and greeting them and I miss my home church family. But at the moment, I have no responsibilities at church, and so in some ways it is more restful. Not saying that I will always be without responsibility (because eventually I want to be involved). Especially for as stressed I have been this weekend--it's like "I don't want to be stressed, I shouldn't be--I'm going to be fine." But my body tells me I am--tense muscles, tense head. Anyhow, that's one reason I love worshipping God through song and so I have really enjoyed going to churches that let you sing your heart out and raise your hands and stand if you want or sit or move to the beat or be quiet within your soul. I think my current favorite worship song is "Blessed be Your Name" because it speaks so clearly that worship is a sacrificial act--"when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, blessed be the name of the Lord." When I sing this song--"blessed be your name...on the road marked with suffering...when the sun's shining down on me...in the land that is plentiful..when there's pain in the offering...blessed be your name"--I can thoroughly relate my life situation to the fact that praise should not be bordered or bound by anything.

There is such a mixture, such diversity to the Body of Christ--one triune God and one salvation but many different parts and styles. I'm not sure where I fit in the whole spectrum, but while trying to find a place to fit, I am learning more about myself and what is important to me. It's tough, I'll admit, especially when, at some big churches, you don't know anyone there and no one knows if you're new or if you have been going there for a long time. But all that comes with time I think, and it's going to be important in the long run to find a church format/structure? and such that is going to work for me and one that I can serve in and partner with. Format/structure might include how they form community, what they teach, prayer, worship, outreach, mission, and vision. One thing I really desire is for church to be a place I feel confident bringing unchurched people, friends and classmates. Unfortunately, it's not something I've been good at in my former churchgoing years. Last Sunday at a church I went to we watched a short DVD asking us to contemplate why we go to church--out of duty? because we always have? because that's what you do on Sundays? It compared our habitual religiosity in the modern world to the pharisee's habits of washing cups, hands, pots, etc. that Jesus refused to participate in to make a point. His point being, that it was what was on the inside, the motive, that God really cares about, delights in when we go to church or pray or do anything in Him, and that he doesn't like it when we do religious things just because and then they become empty meaningless non-relational, even hypocritical, acts. Something worth thinking about.

Well, I have thrown my thoughts onto you, take them as you may.