Live it Out

Pictures from the recent past

2008-02-23T20:41:00.001-08:00

At the ice rink with the family n' Dustin

Dustin and I at Cannon Beach

Dustin and I hit the trail for a bike ride on this beautiful February Saturday!

4 months ago

2008-02-18T22:06:00.000-08:00

wow--I realize that it has been 4 months since I last blogged. It seems that blogging kept appearing on my list of things to do, and now I'm finally doing it.

What's happened since last October? A lot of things, as you can imagine.

a peek at January/February--

To add a little variety to the daily mix of running/biking to and from school, I started playing on an intramural volleyball team at our school rec center. It's been really fun to be hitting the ball again, and a great way to connect with classmates outside of the lecture hall.

Dustin and I celebrated a year of our relationship together on Valentine's Day with an outing after a long day at school to the Spaghetti Factory on the riverfront and a fun movie of "the Absent-Minded Frofessor" which is now known as "Flubber." We're both big fans of old Disney movies (not the cartoon type but the silly ones with people that Disney keeps re-making)--good for clean laughs, and sometimes they are just utterly ridiculous.

I had the opportunity to again be on the worship team for our CMDA NW Winter Conference in Cannon beach, only this time, I was co-leading/organizing with my housemate Julie, who played cello. We had the task of picking out music for the retreat (so difficult because there is so much good music out there!), organizing practices, and then of course, leading at retreat. We had quite the worship team--guitar, piano, djembe, bass, cello, and violin and vocals. It was a really nice weekend (despite the grungy weather) to relax at the beach, hear some good talks, and the Christian conference center there serves phenomenal food! It was also of special significance to me because that was where, a year ago, Dustin and I started to really connect with each other.

Other than that in school we are finishing up our course in neuroscience, which is really a combo of neuroanatomy, neurology, and psychiatry. It's been fascinating!!! There are probably 10^12 neurons in the brain, and each other them has a special set of connections all over the brain and some outside the brain. No wonder it's hard to replace them once you loose them because even if you could put the neuron back, it may not make the connections it needs! It's also been neat because we've had patients with different neurological diseases come in so we can ask them questions and see their exam findings (Parkinson's disease, Huntington's disease).

I finished up a preceptorship in emergency medicine. It's a very interesting environment--fast paced, lots of variety, but also kind of chaotic. I had a great teacher and I got lots of opportunities to use the medical knowledge and skills I have learned so far. And I was consistently reminded of how far I am from where I will need to be..there is just too much! Our third year of practical training is coming up fast--we will soon move out of the safe classroom environment into the clinics and hospitals to interact on a daily basis with patients and actually enter into their care. I'm nervous and excited--it's going to be lots of hard work and hours, but the excitement of really learning the practical skills and art of doctoring will hopefully make up for it. We'll do rotations in teams, in everything from surgery to obstetrics to family medicine and psychiatry. In addition to looking towards third year, we're gearing up to take the USMLE (the first step in becoming a US liscensed physician). This is a gi-normous test assessing our knowledge from the first 2 years of medical school. I have a hard time remember what I learned last block, nonetheless from the beginning of anatomy last year! That's why they give us a month to study our brains out in May/June. Oh joy--more sitting at a desk! but it will be neat to finally bring all this knowledge we've acquired together and very humbling to realize that all that knowledge has been so quickly forgotten.

I was also blessed with the presence of my parents in January--they came and stayed at my house. It was a new experience for them to come and have me "play hostess" and cook for them and take them around town. Last weekend I visited Jess and Derek and Cynthia in the Eburg for a relaxing weekend of hanging out, watching movies, and enjoying a beautiful walk up Manashtash ridge overlooking the valley with a great view of the snow-capped peaks.

Whew! And that's only January/February!

November/December had the usual visiting of family at the holidays and enjoying good times together there. We had the entire Teeny family to our house for Thanksgiving--wow, that was a lot of people! Also had some fun birthday-action with Dustin and I's birthdays being pretty close together; this included a delicious cranberry cheesecake, and a candle-lit picnic in the back of a truck. My family also enjoyed a snow-shoe adventure up near Snoqualmie on Christmas Eve with our new snow shoes that we got for Christmas. On New Year's Eve I ran P-town's "First Run" with 2 of my housemates. Basically you take off at midnight downtown--it was quite cold, but I ended up running my fastest time for a 5K which I was proud of.

Hm...well, I'm sure there's more I could say, but I need to hit the sack so I can make it to class with some assemblence of awakeness.

final goodbye to summer

2007-10-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

Well, the votes are in: summer has finally ended, the cold fall rain is upon us, and I think I went camping for the last time this year last weekend (I kept thinking, ok now I will finally wash my sleeping bag--but then I just kept going camping again and again...). For reals, we are back to school--in fact, we've already had 2 tests (going on #3 this monday). It was kind of sad once the summer ended because it was probably THE MOST awesome summer ever--the first time I didn't work in many years, and I just played and played. But then, I also had no cause to complain in coming back to the grindstone. I probably camped more than I ever have in my life in one summer and spent as much time outdoors as possible. I even had a weekend to go backpacking with dad--an annual tradition now since I was about 12 years old. This time we went up to Mt.Hood, which was very cool and would have been even more awesome if it didn't rain (we saw the mountain for, oh, maybe 15 min...the rest of the time it was socked in). It was wonderful to have some daddy-daughter time, and even though it was miserably wet, dad and I wore super rain gear (i.e. bright yellow firemen-type pants=dork!) that kept me reasonably dry and the rain kept away any neighbors. The wildflowers up at Paradise Park were spectacular as well.

By the way, I am loving my housing arrangement for this year!!! I live in a house with another Christian gal from my class and then a Christian couple, the husband who is in my class and also my co-CMDA leader. We have house dinners once a week and sometimes spend evenings jamming on our guitars together. My commute to school isn't bad -- in fact, downright refreshing sometimes to bike or run to school. CMDA has been really great. We started off the school year with a breakfast-FEAST bonanaza at our house followed by a hike at horsetail falls. We've also had a great response at our weekly Bible studies with students and even staff from various departments/schools. We're studying the life of Peter right now, and it's been really great to get into the mind of disciple and watch how he was transformed by Christ. A few weekends ago, Brian, Julie, and I led a camping trip for a CMDA retreat on the coast. It was a great time for bonding with other students/residents over fire-baked potatoes, hot homemade chili, smores, and a hike along the bluff. We're looking forward to what God is going to do through and in this group this year!

A few weeks ago I went to San Antonio, Texas with a local doc to lead worship at a WIMD (women in medicine and dentistry) conference. WIMD is a ministry of CMDA; at the conference it was so encouraging to see so many Christian women in medicine. I heard some great talks, ate good food, and met a lot of amazing women who love the Lord. Leading worship was fun too--I practiced a lot this summer for the worship part, and I think people really enjoyed the music as did I. There were a few other lady docs who we added to the team who were great musicians too.

You mustn't think that my life is all play and no work. Indeed, school has started...I just kept playing, and added the studying part. I joined the annual Teeny luau on the harbor for labor day, which I hadn't been able to attend in years (even did a little karaoke). Like I mentioned, I've been camping even since school started (we have about every-other-weekend to play and not worry about a test). I also went to a wedding. It's crazy...all of sudden my friends and family are getting married; I must be getting old?

So what have I been doing during the 4+ hours I spend at school each day? This year started out with pathology--i.e. "when stuff goes wrong," particularly in the heart, kidneys, and lungs. It's been pretty interesting now that we're finally learning about what really goes on when we say "heart attack" or "v-fib" or "renal failure". Most of this stuff I knew close to nothing about before med school, and we get to use some cool tools--like we practiced doing echocardiograms (heart ultrasound). My housemate, Brian, even brought a portable ultrasound machine home one day and ended up playing with it for hours! I also have a new preceptorship for this quarter (last year was family medicine): pediatric oncology/hematology. People always respond with "whoa, that must be hard." Indeed, there are definitely some things that are hard for me to see and that I'm not used to seeing, like poor little babies hooked up to tons of machines and kids who stay in the hospital for a month at a time. One evening after preceptor I had such a hard time--I was crying at seeing their suffering (and the parent's too), not because I thought that God was terrible for putting them through that, but because I feel like maybe that's a tinge of what God feels when he sees his kids suffer. But there's also a lot of hope--those babies wouldn't hardly have a chance at life if not for those machines, meds, and nurses, and same with those older kids. ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia) has almost a 85% chance of cure with some types. And it's great when you see them smile and laugh--very cute for sure. So the docs do a lot of counseling with parents, and it's very interesting to hear about all the complicated medical stuff that goes on too. In short, it's a good quarter so far, and it's definitely making me think more about doing something that involves pediatrics. I'm taking an elective right now that introduces all the major fields of medicine to help me in my process of figuring out what I want to do with medicine, which is a pretty big question that won't be resolved for awhile.

It's raining now, and I enjoy the pitter-patter outside my window. Makes me feel all warm and cozy...

Medical Mission Trip to Papua, Indonesia

2007-08-22T11:27:00.000-07:00

I am finally writing up my trip to Papua and posting some pictures and videos! I will try to give the highlights and some of the things I have been thinking about, but obviously there is so much one could write about when traveling to a new and interesting land. Hopefully the subtitles will help you pick what you want to read about.

Dr. Julius and the Luke Society: Our connection to Papua
Our trip to Papua, Indonesia is the result of a working relationship between Dr. Julius Surjadi (Indonesia doctor) and Dr. Steve Baker (an American family doc) through the Luke Society (http://www.lukesociety.org/), which pairs up Christian North American doctors and business people with Christian healthcare workers in developing nations who have a vision for reaching their own people, but need some further support on making the vision happen. The North American workers pledge to pray, visit, and support the national doc as they do their work. Dr. Julius' mission is to reach the interior tribes of Papua with the Gospel and medicine by training national Papuan evangelists from the interior in basic healthcare skills to bring with them to the unreached tribe they are settling in. These villages are very remote, unreached by the outisde world and so have remained virtually the same for thousands of years. They have no modern technology (electricity, running water) or the Gospel, and sometimes no written language either. Dr. Baker began SMI (summer medical institute) as a way to engage healthcare students/professionals in serving the poor for Christ and serving cross-culturally, but also to help Dr. Julius, who spends most of his time training rather than doing clinics himself. By bringing in a short-term team to do clinic in the remote areas, Dr. Julius and the local evangelists gain more time for training and crediblity with the locals; which are important for maintaining the long-termwork there.

It takes a long time to get there...
We spent over 40 hours on planes plus transit time to get to Sentani, Indonesia, which is like the Sea-Tac of Jayapura (the capital of the province of Papua). Papua is located on the island of Papua New Guinea, but is a province of Indonesia rather than the independant state of Papua New Guinea which is on the eastern half of the island (confused yet?). It is right on the equator, and therefore extremely hot and humid, and the days last from 6am to 6pm pretty much all year round. By the time we finally landed in Sentani, I was so exhausted and jet-lagged--I didn't know what time I was in. We spent the first day recovering in "Hotel Rata" and waiting for our "surat jalan" which are "walking papers"--i.e. even though we had visas, because of politcal unrest in Papua, the government requires foreigners to carry extra permission papers. I ended up sleeping most of the day, and then in the evening we had dinner together on the roof. A Christian missionary joined us who is working with tribal peoples to create public health messages (in the form of stories since this is a story-telling culture) in their own languages with native music. For example, she showed us one they are working on for AIDS, as that is a new epidemic in Papua and yet there is being little done to educate people there. We also met up with Pastor Sumiren (Soo-me-ren), a local Indonesian pastor who helped our group with connecting to the village we would do clinic in. He recruited some of his parishoners to help us with translating and cooking, and a few of them also joined us. This group of young people turned out to be invaluable to our work there, and we so enjoyed the sweet fellowship between believers and working right alongside them to serve the poor.

Sentani Lake Clinic: The Needy Village of Barbronka
The next morning we packed our bags and trunks of medicine and supplies into vans and headed to the boat launch area where we crossed the lake to a village called Barbronka. The boats had a small outboard motor and could carry a fair amount of weight. The fishing boats however, were a single hollowed out tree that looked like your bottom would barely fit in and looked tippier than any canoe. The village ran along the shore, as most of the houses were built on stilts over the water. Without sanitation, the shore water was pretty disgusting--hogs swimming around, chickens scratching, thick algae, bits of trash, and whatever other kinds of waste. We all slept on the floor of a big open platform with a roof to keep the rain off. Our bathroom had been made for us--a little tin shack over the water with a hole in it so that our liquid waste went...right into the lake. It was also where we bathed by dumping water over us--a bit chilly, but refreshing because the it was so incredibly hot and humid we were sweating all the time.

Before opening clinic that afternoon, we had "opening ceremonies" in what appeared to be the village community house--a plain building with concrete walls that went about 4 feet high and had no doors which also would serve as our medical/dental clinic and pharmacy. The district chief and village chief each expressed their thanks for us and to Jesus and explained to the curious onlookers what would be happening in the next few days. They also talked about how they had no access to healthcare, except that a public health worker used to come once a month for the women and infants. We began a busy clinic that afternoon with our pharmacy, dental team, and medical team trying to get our footing. We had a few translators, but as best we could we tried to use Indonesian directly with the people. Talk about language immersion! The first day was a bit frustrating in parts because I felt so inadequate as a medical student-playing-doctor, but thankfully Dr. Baker and Dr. Julius were right by us to consult with and help us. The language barrier was also challenging to work with, in addition to cultural differences. For example, it is inappropriate to give things or touch people with only your left hand (due to sanitary practices)--kind of hard for someone who is left handed to remember! People were always watching us too--us curious-looking white-skinned people! We saw so many men, women, and children--3 medical stations in one open room plus a dental station. The patient would hand us a card with their name and chief complaint written in Indonesian and we would go through our algorithm and try to determine a diagnosis and treatment. It was a very different style of doing medicine than I was used to in the US: here we had no lab tests, X-rays, or CT scanners, physical therapy, a limited supply and range of medicines, and no charting or rules about HIPPA or official prescription pads. The range of disease was somewhat similar--a lot of people with chronic joint or back pain (which it is NO WONDER since they do tons of physical work just to survive), upper respiratory infections, ear infections, GERD. But we also saw many illnesses that we don't see much in the US except perhaps among the very poor--malnutrition, worm disease, fungal skin disease, scabies, yaws, machete wounds and open/infected wounds (again, related to lifestyle, poor sanitation, not wearing shoes!), malaria, and even a possible case of leprosy. It was sad when we saw things we couldn't treat--a few cancers, TB, club foot, and other illnesses needing surgical intervention. We couldn't address very many chronic care illnesses which we didn't even screen (for like HTN or diabetes) because they require long term medications which without a doctor/nurse in place could actually be dangerous to treat if medications were not controlled. Instead we focused on what we could help with. We even were able to help by testing eyes and providing reading glasses, which was really fun. By the end of our third day of clinic, we had seen 568 medical patients besides dental, and people had come from other villages to receive care as well!

Our daily lives were pretty simple: we arose early in the morning to a spectacular tropical sunrise over the lake, began sweating, ate breakfast, had group devotions/worship, and began clinic work until 5pm that evening with a break for lunch (while sweating). After cleaning up clinic, we would chat a bit, and then have dinner, bathe, and collapse underneath our mosquito nets to begin the same thing the next day. Our last evening, the dental team put on a short interactive presentation for all the children of the village about cavaties and brushing teeth, and then handed out toothbrushes. While we were there, we feasted 3 times a day on good Indonesian food--lots of fish, the best banannas ever, oranges, chicken, and LOTS OF RICE...every meal...there was no cause for hunger unless you decided not to be very adventurous and try the delicious yet sometimes suspicious-looking foods. We even had "sago" one time--a staple in Papuan culture. It is this wood from the sago tree that is ground into a pulp and then cooked down or made into flour. The traditional way to eat it was quite interesting--basically it forms a big sticky GOO, like orange glue with very little flavor but you add broth to your bowl to give it some. Of course, I tried it--but needless to say, I could do fine without ever eating it again.

Why go? Serve and learn...
You may be thinking: things sound pretty rough, why even go? These poor people were in great need of healthcare, and it was such a privilege to come and serve them in even simple ways. Matthew 10:42 in the Bible talks about how "if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward." Matthew 25 also talks about how when we do simple acts of compassion and releiving suffering, "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." And so though it may seem like all we offered was "a cup of cold water," the people were so appreciative to have someone to care for them and we were able to serve Christ by doing this. There were many blessings in serving these people. We were able to do these clinics openly in the Name of Jesus, and we prayed with nearly every patient for both their physical needs, family, and spiritual needs. What an opportunity! for all of us as well to learn about the joys and challenges of serving Christ by serving the poor. Papua is an island that most people do not want to be sent--the Indonesian people (straight hair, tan skin) tend to look down upon the Papuans (dark skin, curly hair, aboriginal type) because they are viewed as backward, and kind of stupid, like they are a lower caste. It was the Indonesian peoples that took over the island of Papua. And so by going there to serve the "lower caste" of society, we were helping fill a gap that no govt. or even secular group is filling as far as I know. I learned about depending on God more: so much of our medical care is that we depend on God for only the hard stuff--the cancer, the hard-to-treat, the difficult patient. But there--every person, independent of their physical ailment or treatment, was given an opportunity to receive prayer/spiritual care for that physical need because we recognize that Jesus, the Great Physician, is really the one who heals. Sometimes prayer was all that we could offer them. And they were glad to receive it! But really...Jesus is all that we really need. Sure--God chooses to use our medical knowledge and drugs to benefit people too, but it's still a good idea to realize that truly He is the one who sustains us. That is something that is very hard for us who have so much to realize.

We also learned a great deal about the challenges of cross-cultural care--something we will all encounter in our careers, whether it is with our co-workers or patients. Sometimes there is a language barrier to deal with, and most times there are cultural beliefs or practices that change the way you approach medicine.

Another thing I enjoyed so much was the encouragement of fellowshiping with other believers who, though speaking another language and being from another culture, had the same Spirit of God in them. What a joy to hear them worshipping and praying to God in their own tongue and in their own style. A literal taste of Heaven!

Moving to higher ground: Wamena, Pyramid, and Bogapa (transitioning to the highlands)
On Friday morning, one week since leaving the US, we said our good-byes and made our journey back across the lake to transition the next day to the mountains. Friday evening we spent at the sponsoring church (in the dark and sweltering heat because the city shut off the electricity) giving a presentation about the trip to Christian medical Papuan medical students and visiting with them, with the goal of getting national students to come on this trip so that they will catch the vision of serving their own underserved people. It was exciting to for both nationals and us to meet Christian med students and fellowship with them as well.

The next day was spent trying to get out of Sentani. There are 2 flights per day to Wamena, one of the largest cities in the world that is only accessible by air travel. The first flight was delayed 5-6hrs due to cloud cover, and then we finally made it out on the second flight. In the process, I slept on the airport floor, as I had taken some medicine due to having bad nausea. We also listened to Pastor Sumiren's testimony which was very inspiring. Over and over again on this trip we listened to people tell their stories--and every time it involved 2 principles "trust and obey". That is, submission to God's plan was a huge part if not the determining factor for why they were in Papua in the respective posts.

After arriving in Wamena, we were escorted by a Christian Indo-Chinese businessman to his house where we spent 2 nights. Joseph and his family have a vision for ministering to missionaries on their way into the interior by providing housing for them, and so he graciously allowed all 14 of us to stay there! In fact, God has blessed their business so much that he is building a whole complex of rooms for people to stay in. They were wonderful hosts, and served us great food too--including "pre breakfast" of fried veggie pastry and fried banannas, coffee, and tea! wow! Also interesting was how they honored the Lord in their home by placing big flourescently lit "Jesus" pictures and signs on their walls. To us it would have seemed tacky, but they were so proud of the big Lord's Supper picture with big colorful Christmas lights around it.
Saturday evening was spent with Kim Dugger, a long-term missionary from America who has just set up a mission clinic in Wamena. The group got a tour of the place, and he showed them some very puzzling medical cases. In the evening, his wife and child joined us too for a wonderful dinner and time of sharing about cases he'd seen and their story of how God brought them to Papua. Amazing!

Sunday we went to church with the host family in a big building, probably Dutch reform. What was so funny was that we were all prepared for 2-3 hr services (often the case outside the US), but it was only an hour! And they sang some old hymns that had been translated to Indonesian. Thankfully I knew some of the words, so I could sing along too. That afternoon we traveled about 90 minutes outside the city to a village called Pyramid, where some missionaries from MAF (mission aviation fellowship) were having a retreat. It was neat to meet up with long-term missionaries, and also get to enjoy being outside in the countryside again. Rose, one of the MAF pilot wives, helped us buy local crafts from the crowd of village people surrounding the camp.

The next morning we left Wamena by small plane (piloted by MAF) to Bogapa and then by helicopter (Helimssion) over tall mountain peaks to Bubisiga, which was our final clinic destination in the remote highlands. It was amazing to look at the green hills and mountains we were flying through and see huts out in the middle of nowhere! No roads in sight! The mountains were very craggy, and tall--16,500 is the highest peak, and contains Papua's only glacier which is pretty amazing considering we were on the equator. We had a quick stop in Bogapa--another mountain village, but one that had an airstrip.

Bubisiga: Medical care and back to the basics

We arrived by helicopter to a small village tucked away in the mountains and jungle, only a short flight by air but hours to days of travel by foot. It was an amazing sight--a hundred men, women, and children gathered around and greeted us. It was like stepping into a National Geographic article--complete with decorated naked men wearing gourds toting their bows and arrows around, thatch huts with the smoke seeping out the top, and children with bellies distended from malnutrition. The village had a tribal pastor, who welcomed us and showed us their prized church building--complete with a tin roof, low wooden planks for benches, and Catholic-style posters of Jesus on the walls. The church and the volleyball court were the centerpieces of the village. We quickly tried to settle in so that we could run a short clinic that afternoon, so we started filtering water and cooking Mountain House (freeze dried food) for lunch and tried to figure out where we would hold clinic. That afternoon the dental team set up under a tarp, and the medical team created a semi circle of stools and wood planks for patients and doctors to sit on. This was defintely clinic-in-the-rough! It was defintely challenging at first during clinic because we had 2 translations going on: English to Indonesian (in our heads), then Indonesian to Moni (tribal language which the evangelists helped with), then back again. Thankfully our time in the lowland village was good preparation for a more simplified (because we followed the algorithm closely) but circuitous interaction. Sometimes we just had to ask the same question over and again until they answered "ya" or "tidak", to keep it simple. We also prayed with our patients here, and worked right alongside the evangelists, who also worked in the pharmacy and gave lots of shots. Oh that's another thing that's different: they not only like shots (suntik) when they come to the doctor, they expect to get one!

By the end of our short clinic we had already seen almost 50 patients. We then ate our evening meal and crawled into our tents to rise with the sun the next morning. The next day I decided to venture into the "bathing area" for a very cool but refreshing dip. The natives had been told by Julius that we needed some privacy for bathing, so they built a little fern wall to wall-off a small pool with a stream running into it. Unfortunately, the main trail went right over the top of it so that people could easily peer down into it! I don't think the natives took the opportunity to be voyers, for which I was thankful. They also built us a little 3 walled latrine (a hole in the ground) from ferns and sticks -- I was continually amazed at how resourceful the people were!!

Before beginning clinc, the tribal pastors and ministers held a church service dedicating the clinic. It was so awesome to see the whole village be called into church, men (some just wearing gourds!), women nursing their young, children, and elderly until the little one-room church was packed to the point of people sitting in the aisles! They spoke in Moni, so we couldn't understand them, but we tried to sing along to their tribal worship-music anyway. When that was ending, one man stood up and started yelling about something. It turned out that when the cheifs found out that we were only there to do clinic 1 more day, they were not happy because people were walking from over 10 surrounding villages to be seen! It was almost like a cry for desperation because they have so few resources--they were demanding us to stay longer, which we could not do unfortunately. Thankfully, God gave Dr. Julius wisdom as to how to negotiate so that we could get clinic started again. I looked out into the village and saw a multitude of people milling about--far more than were there the day before. I felt perhaps what the disciples thought when they saw the multitudes of people listening to Jesus, desiring healing and teaching and hungry and all they had to offer were 5 loaves and 2 fishes. But God was able to help us work efficiently and quickly so that we saw over 150 patients that day--more than they had ever seen in the highlands before!! Again, some of it was very sad for the complicated infections or deformities, knowing that they would probably not have access to the care they really needed. But it was very satisfying to help those that we could. Dr. Julius also used the afternoon to train the tribal evangelists in medicine and give them a whole pile of basic medicines to use! How awesome to see Dr. Julius working with those who are making real lasting impact in the villages. At the end of clinic, the village people taught us some things from their world: how to start a fire (without matches of course!) using bark, how to shoot arrows (they laughed so hard at our failed attempts to shoot their dud arrow), and took us on a tour of their village. In fact, Brian and I took the opportunity to sleep in a honai (traditional thatch hut) that night! Brian stayed in the guy hut and I stayed with the pastor's wife and kids in their hut (men and women sleep in seperate huts). The huts are really neat: they heat them with a fire in the middle and the smoke seeps up through the roof (hence, stay low to avoid being smoked out), and there are two walls to insulate the room, with a woven wood floor elevated above the ground. I was amazed that we stayed completely dry despite the rain. It was so awesome to stay in the honai because it was entering into a more intimate part of their world, and I was able to "talk" about basic things (where I was from, marital status, foods) with them using the bits of Indonesian I knew and a lot of sign language. They also played their mouth harps called "bigigi" and offered me bits of their food: sweet potato, sugar cane, greens, and some root I've forgotten the name of. It got a bit cold in the night when the fire got low, but I don't know how the people survive just in their bit of clothes with no bed or blankets! One of the other "nona"s (single girl) ended up cuddling with me...kind of interesting.

Timika: Rest and the long journey home

Wednesday was our transition day out of the mountains. We packed up our things and helicoptered back out to Bogapa where we transferred to small plane to fly to the southern city of Timika. In Timika we had some time to rest at a Indonesian "resort" (more like a nice hotel...ie. hot water and a pool!). We spent some time as a group debriefing and sharing about what we enjoyed, what was frustrating, and suggestions for next year. One of the best parts of our debriefing time was to hear the testimony of Dr. Julius and his wife Debbie who are an amazing couple that are completely submitted to God in their marriage, family, and work. Of course, it didn't start there, but the process of them coming to Papua was literally an act of God. And God is richly blessing their work--the only of it's kind in Papua. It was also neat to hear from Hiya, the first Papuan medical student to join us on this trip. It was quite an eye-opening experience for her, having never been in the remote areas of her own country and not having practiced medicine in a rural area like that before. She was so inspiried to tell her classmates about what God did and what the experience was like--I pray that not only her life would feel the lasting impact, but that other people through her would be inspired to serve the Papuan people. On Thursday we flew out of Timika--a miracle almost! Airline security and rules are bit different in Papua, and for some reason there was a hole in the landing strip which nearly prevented the airplane from landing (acutally, the airline wanted to land but the airport said no). Then they were supposed to have it patched by a certain time in the afternoon, but by 4 hrs before our flight time we still didn't know if we would actually get on that plane. The downside being that this flight happens once a day and missing it would throw off a delicate schedule of flights. We prayed, and thankfully made it on the plane with only a small delay. That night we spent in Jakarta and the next day we briefly traveled around Jakarta bwith a church friend of Dr. Julius'. Then we flew out to Kuala Lamur, where we also had another overnight layover, and then finally to LA and PDX. Whew! We were glad to get on the ground and stay there! I thank the Lord for a safe trip and that we all got where we needed to be--it was kind of dicey for bit in KL because of some airline mistakes which almost left half the team behind. After many hours in the plane...we finally landed in PDX and saw our loved ones. Praise the Lord for safe journeys and a blessed time!

It has been a tremendous learning experience--one I will carry with me through my career, and a wonderful adventure! I love serving the Lord, medicine, traveling and experiencing a new culture!

Medical Culture Shock

2007-08-11T21:25:00.001-07:00

Medical Culture Shock—that’s what I think best describes how I’ve been feeling. It’s funny—I thought I might go through culture shock coming back to the US. But this time it has been focused in the medical world. Since coming to Bandon, I have seen patients be shuffled through one lab test after another, get CT scans, X-rays, and be hooked up to all sorts of technical equipment. Here in the US, we have the ability to look inside someone without opening them up—it’s such a weird thing to look at the person in front of you who is, for example, in respiratory distress, and hold an x-ray of their chest that gives you the key to why they are in such trouble. In Papua, only the big cities had such technology or capabilities for labs. All we had in the remote areas was what we could see with our eyes, touch with our hands, and hear without ears. There were no “routine” lab tests to see how high their cholesterol was, check their blood glucose levels, or count WBCs. Not even a urinalysis. It just makes me think about how much we rely on technology to help us as doctors—and to think about how much is actually necessary? Of course, here we worry about litigation, insurance companies, and peace of mind. There—people have no money, no transportation, but also no ability or knowledge of litigation. Interesting for sure. Then there’s medications—in the US we have a whole host of meds to choose from, but we only had such a limited supply in the field. Charting here has to be immaculate, and there we didn’t do charts at all. Privacy, follow-up, referrals, acute care, preventative care, and even the kinds of diseases were very different. In Papua, it’s likely that few people live long enough to get cancer, and here every woman over 40 should get a mammogram, even immunizations. The disparity is enormous. And yet, we rely so much on medicine to cure us, whereas they must rely on God a whole lot more.

There’s another aspect of medical culture shock I’ve been experiencing and that has to do with Jesus. This whole year I’ve been shadowing a Christian doctor, and I just came off a kind of “spiritual high” by performing medical care in Jesus’ Name and having opportunity to pray with nearly every patient. I don’t deny that the doctors here in Bandon have good hearts—in fact, every patient and nurse tells me how lucky I am to work with this doctor. But there’s something, something BIG missing. I see it especially when we deal with patients who are facing really big health issues—cancer, macular degeneration, depression. These patients need Jesus. I wanted to offer to pray with them, but I couldn’t, so I just prayed silently. The doc I am working with has prayers up on her walls in her office, and I know she cares deeply about them, but a few staff people have already told me to pray for her. She says she’s somewhere between fundamental Christian and atheist, and I’m not sure what that means. I just don’t know how people do such a stressful job like medicine without Jesus as their source. No wonder doctors have such high burnout rate, high divorce, high substance abuse. If Jesus wasn’t with me, I don’t know how I could do this day in and out. I would run out quickly of compassion and patience. I know there’ll be days when I’m short on all those things, but I hope that I won’t ever be angry because someone was truly needing help.

A Week in Rural Medicine

2007-08-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

On Monday I drove down to Bandon, OR for a week-long rural family medicine experience. My purpose in doing so was to get a better idea of the breadth of practice family docs can have. My preceptor for this week, besides having her own family practice, works in the ER, follows her own patients in the hospital, and at times has assisted in surgeries, delivered babies and been a hospitalist. She has a beautiful house right on the bluff overlooking the ocean—when I drove up, I was floored at the gorgeous view she has! Tuesday I spent in clinic with her—she primarily has older patients since she stopped doing OB. We’ve talked a lot already about how the healthcare system in is big trouble and how many docs (including her) are fed up with insurance companies and skyrocketing malpractice insurance. Over the past few days I have also been once again exposed to the joys and challenges of serving an underserved population. Bandon is a touristy retirement community mostly, and though it has a small hospital, does not have many of the resources that a large community would have. The ER can only deal with small trauma, they have no surgeon currently, and it seems like people work super hard to keep things going. Yesterday evening I had the opportunity to follow my preceptor as the on-call doc (the only one) for the ER. We've seen some exciting cases– we saw a lady with severe asthma, a woman with a shattered elbow, a woman with 6 broken ribs and then an older man with a pneumothorax. Although I didn’t think I knew anything, maybe I have learned something after all about medicine! Overall, it was a pretty interesting experience, and I’m kind of interested in learning more about emergency medicine.

The next morning we went to the house for breakfast, and rode over to a nearby city so that I could watch a surgery—an inguinal hernia repair. That was pretty interesting, although I was nervouse that I was going to faint because it has nearly happened before. Well…the surgeon had me scrub in and go right up to the table. We were already past the skin and superficial fascia and I was holding the retractors and peering in when all of sudden I knew my body did not want to be there. I didn’t faint, but I felt that yucky clammy feeling, so I went out for a minute and later came back in just to watch. I made it through the rest of the surgery fine, but I was pretty tired by the noon. I think I havne’t had much chance or taken the chance to rest since coming back from Indonesia, so I wonder if I am actually recovered from all that—with the wedding preparations, the only time I had alone was basically in the shower! So later today after a long nap I headed out on the beach and enjoyed a nice walk.

I’ve been learning more about what it’s like to practice in a small town where your patients are your friends too, everyone says “good morning,” and people are more intimately connected. I kind of like that. However, there is some loss of separation between work and home, and there are fewer people to cover for you for vacations and such. In talking with the surgeon (actually, he talked at me), he strongly emphasized “diversifying” outside of medicine and how medicine is changing so much with people moving more and more into high specialized practices and technology taking over. It’s interesting, and I realize in medical school we really need to get more training in how to run a business. I’m not real excited about the business aspect of medicine, and I think balance is very difficult but important because docs are under a TON of stress—many falling into substance abuse, alcoholism, obesity…but I think there’s a big something, no, rather Someone all these people are missing. That is, Jesus. True, even Christians have to be reminded to balance their lives and make wise priorities. They too can be trapped into materialism. I think having the hope of Jesus in our lives makes all the difference in the world on how we can make priorities and go on when faced with difficulty after difficulty. There’s wisdom in what this surgeon is saying, but maybe it won’t be as glum as he says because of what Jesus does in my life—especially in the areas of strength, contentment and true happiness. Oh, I haven’t “arrived”—I am way too young to really know what I’m talking about, but I believe having a foundation built on the Lord will give me endurance and hope as a physician.

A Wedding to Remember

2007-08-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

Tuesday the 30th through Saturday Aug 4th was a whirlwind of wedding preparations! I am happy to say that Derek and Jessica did indeed get married on Saturday and the wedding was beautiful. Both the wedding and reception were outdoors at my uncle’s estate along the harbor. Of course, there was lots of stress preceding the actual ceremony, but everyone made it through OK. There were a few moments I really wanted to cry. The first was when Derek saw his gorgeous bride for the first time in her wedding gown. They both started bawling, and I could see that they were so overwhelmed with love and emotion that some of us became so too. I kept having these moments as we were taking pictures where I thought “This is ACTUALLY REAL!! It’s finally happening!” The other moments was when my sister had “Butterfly Kisses” play as we bridesmaids walked down the aisle. As I looked over the crowd back at my dad waiting to escort Jessica, I could see his hands raised and he was crying. You see—this song has been special to my dad for so long. I think it's difficult having to “let go and let God,” even though my parents have been doing it all along with us kids from the time we were first dedicated to the Lord. We’ve been such a tight knit family. My dad used to cry every time he heard the song and then for awhile he kind of got used to it. Then when it actually came to giving one of his daughters away he just couldn't hold it in. Now we’ve just officially added one more, and I’m so glad to have Derek as my bro. I'm very proud of both of them, and love them dearly. It was also so great to see the extended family and friends, enjoy good food, and gaze at the sunset over the water. I also had the privilege of singing at their wedding a song that they asked me to compose. It went well despite some mic difficulties, and I also was accompanied by a djimbe player! The song speaks about servanthood and covenant, which also were two of the things stressed in the marriage sermon. Anyhow, I was also the maid of honor, or MOH and as such had to make a speech at the reception. Well, I've never done a toast before, and when it came time to do it we had the goblets but not the sparkling cider so we just used lemonade--LOL! In fact there were several moments (i.e. the 1st cake cutting) where we kids were asking, "now how do we do this?" I guess that's just the prelude -- we're all discovering how to make it through life and most of the time it seems a combination of other people's wisdom and instruction and a series of trial-and-errors. Thankfully, "where sin did abound, grace did much more abound."

Living up the summer

2007-07-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

So it has been 4 weeks since school has been out. What have I been doing with my time you ask? Well, I have been keeping busy for sure. Sometimes I feel like a bum because I'm not actually working at at a job this summer. You see, we only get ONE summer off during medical school, and that's this summer. Because of my trip to Indonesia and other things I'm doing, it turned out I wouldn't have much time for a job anyways, and I think I will be glad that I took the time to really have fun. It has also been nice to spend time with friends and play/listen to music! I have been playing a lot of guitar, and finally got out the trombone too. P-town has a yearly blues fest, and the AF has a concert every year which I went to also. Fourth of July, of course, had fireworks, and there has been lots of other random activities, errand-running, READING, and preparing for my trip too.

I also moved into a new house with my friends from med school (2 of the people are in my class plus 1 is an honorary-med student...i.e. med-student wife). It is a wonderful place and in a lovely neighborhood. I am really enjoying my new living arrangement--especially because we are all friends: we care about each other's needs, can go have fun together, and share the love of Christ. The house is near the river, which has a very nice trail next to it that doesn't allow motorized vehicles. It has easy access to downtown too, and isn't too far from school. We share a nice big living room, 2 decks, dining room, and kitchen, and before I moved in Brian and Julie even put in some carpet in the garage to make a bonus room.

Since I've only been in town for a year, most of which was spent doing school stuff, I've been taking the time to do a little more exploration around the city and be outside as much as possible. Brian and Julie and I a few weeks ago one pleasant Saturday evening decided to go on a spontaneous camping trip--that is, at 6pm we decided to go somewhere and by 7pm we were out the door. I have been camping so much this summer--it is awesome! We headed out I-84 hoping to find a campsite somewhere. Well, we ended up having to keep traveling from place to place looking for a spot. When we finally found one at a state park along the Columbia we discovered why: it is RIGHT next to the train tracks, and so several times that night we were wakened by a blaring train horn! It was probably my first camping trip out with friends (I had always gone with family), first time so spontaneous, first time sleeping out w/o a tent, first time(?) roasting marshmellows over a campstove (we searched for firewood but couldn't find much...the next morning we snagged some from an empty campsite). The following morning we headed to Eagle Creek and took a long hike up to some waterfalls. A splendid time!

I've also been doing lots of biking since there are lots of great trails and roads planned for biking. Sometimes it's just too hot for me to go running, although I've done a little of that too. I've also enjoyed swimming in the Columbia in this hot weather--there's no Lake WA to swim in and I've been hankering for a cool dip. I think I was spoiled growing up next to the lake. I learned after moving here (and after I took a swim in the river myself) that the Willamette is severely contaminated...

Another fun thing I tried was windsurfing!! My bf Dustin is a big windsurfer, and was willing to teach me, so we went out to Hood River in the Gorge and I rented some gear and tried it! It was actually very fun, though difficult and progress was slow, and I can't wait until I get to try again. Gear wasn't too expensive to rent. As Dustin says, once you have gear, all you need is $ for gas and wind...I never would have done it though if someone close to me hadn't been into it.

And now what? I'm off to Papua, Indonesia TODAY!!! The time has finally arrived and I am so excited! I will plan to write stuff up on the blog when I get back. However, my sister's wedding is the following week, so it may actually be a bit before the full-meal-deal gets up.

A great start to summer on the road

2007-07-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I am living up this summer break! So much has already transpired since I last blogged. Time has gotten away from me.

Back at the end of May and beginning of June I did a LOT of traveling around to various graduations and activities. Two of my sisters graduated (one from college, one from high school), and since I live out of town, this necessitated driving quite a bit. Of course, family is worth it. Schoolwise, we finished up the year with more infectious diseases and treatments, now of which I cannot remember hardly anything because my brain has been on sleep mode. On June 15 we had our final exam which was cumulative for the entire course. The evening before was Cynthia's graduation, so I had to drive up north. I had brought my flashcards that have all the wierd bugs to look at while I was waiting. It was kind of funny because I was sitting next to my grandma, and she kept looking over my shoulder reading them too. Anyhow, I was proud of Cynthia for graduating (the last one from high school!), and she was very happy to have had all of us there.

The next day I got up bleary eyed and studied a final bit before taking the final at 8am. Whew! Then the rest of my family joined me for lunch, and we sped off into the east along I-84 to go on our Road Trip 2007 to the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone Ntl Park, and Glacier Ntl Park. What a trip!!! So many strange and wonderful and magnificient things to see--wildlife, towering mountains, mudpots and hot springs, bacteria mats, and geysers. Yes, we saw Old Faithful go off--it was kind of funny because there's this whole crowd of people waiting on bleachers to see it, and at first it tricks you because it's just spurting. Then it goes of really huge for a few seconds. In some ways, Yellowstone feels like a theme park which I didn't really like because it's all touristy and doesn't feel as natural--which is what so amazing because all of it is. Another interesting thing is that Yellowstone keeps changing over time due to the techtonic plate movements. It is an amazingly beautiful place and people come from all over the world to see it and even to work there.

Jess and Derek tag-teamed with us for 2 days to Wyoming. Total, We spent 6 days camping in various places, a few even in RV-type parks which is NOT our traditional style of camping (we prefer more wilderness), but it was fun. We drove over 2000 miles in 7 days, sometimes putting in 12-14 hrs of roving about the parks so we could see things. We weren't originally going to go to Glacier, but we finished Yellowstone in 2 days, and so we decided to drive up there. Unknowingly, after driving through miles of Montana wilderness we find that Going-to-the-Sun road is closed at the pass! Thankfully, we were still able to find a campsite on the east end, and then the following morning drove as far as we could going from that direction, then drove to the other end and followed the road nearly to the pass. The mountains were absolutely magnficient. Unfortunately we didn't have much time to hike around, but just seeing the mountains and waterfalls was beautiful in itself, and we listened to a very interesting bear ranger talk the night before with a lovely campsite looking out towards the mountains. One funny thing that happened was my dad who was the camera-king, dropped his camera in the toilet!! Thankfully he was able to open things enough to let it dry and the pictures and camera function was preserved.

I actually was quite proud of the family for getting along so well. We normally get along really well and love each other lots, but it had been quite some time since we had been in such tight spaces like the magic red van for hours like that. And there was also the fact that 3 of us kids are out of the house now and are used to doing our own thing or going at our own pace. It was probably the last great adventure like that we will have for a while because of where I'm at with my schooling. What a great start to the summer!!!

Weekends, work and worms

2007-05-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

Well, time for a brief but intense update on my life. I am almost done with my first year of medical school! Simply amazing. I began this blog with the White Coat Ceremony andgross anatomy, and now we are back to the gross parts of medicine, and I mean gross as in kind of yucky. We've been learning about infectious diseases, and get to see all those kinds of nasty photos that appear in textbooks of pus-leaking lesions, worms 10 meters long that live in your gut, worms that are tiny but have enormous consequences for the body (just look up the term "filariasis" and "elephantiasis"), and sexually-transmitted diseases that are REALLY unpleasant. We also are doing microbiology laboratories, the first of which we were supposed to bring in samples from our own bodies to demonstrate "normal flora" (that is, bacteria that normally colonize our bodies, of which we have A LOT!). In other words, the lab lady told us to bring in samples of poop and pee (and "not the whole thing" she warned us! LOL!). The morning of the lab I chuckled to myself as I walked down the street thinking to myself, "Guess what I have in my backpack!" That day we cultured the samples and tried to grow up some of the stuff. Interesting what lives on and in your body, and some of it is rather good for you!

We just had our last PCM session for today. Things have been interesting this quarter--we've talked a lot about end-of-life care and such. Kind of tough too. I'm also finishing up my medical spanish class which has been a lot of work for 1 credit, but I've learned a TON.

Well, that's been school. In other news, a couple weekends ago I went on a retreat for the trip to Indonesia I am taking this summer--we went to Lake Merwin and had a time of language training ("Sakit apa?= What is wrong?), cultural training, worship, team-building, and listening to missionaries who have served there, which I think was one of the most interesting things. This is going to be one AWESOME summer!

I also went to see my sister's final music project in which she produced a MASTERPIECE! She presented great dramatic fashion "Mr. Gumphilini's Garden," which was an allegory with AMAZING drawings, and she composed this 11-part piece which correlated characters with different musical themes to go with the story (kind of like Peter and the Wolfe). I was SOO proud of her!! She is amazing.

I've also been doing a little running--I wouldn't call myself a "runner" because that's a whole subculture in itself and implies a certain seriousness, but I have done 2 races now, and that's totally new for me. The last race I did was this Sunday called the "Rhody Run," which was 12K. I even saw one of my good friends from college there who is this super-runner and he got 3rd place! I just ran for fun and to finish. And you get a cool shirt.

That brings me to probably one of the most important things going on in my life. Yes, if you haven't heard, the rumors are true...I do have a significant friend. We have been going out now for a couple months and he is wonderful. He's in my medical school class and a great Christian man. We had a lovely afternoon awhile back at the Tulip Festival down in Woodburn. The tulips were incredible, but they also had fun activities--parrots that sit on your shoulder, old steam engines that still work, rides for kids, etc. A beautiful day to take pictures as well.

CMDA leadership & this week

2007-04-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

So I mentioned in my last post that I was gonna go to a CMDA student leader weekend--
we had probably 20? students from all over the west at our conference. I was able to host a pharmacy student from AZ, and I met tons of others--Utah, Colorado, more AZ, California, Nevada, even Hawaii! It was quite a challenging and inspiring weekend, and I enjoyed the speakers and fellowship. We mostly focused on what it's going to mean for us to be leaders next year and trying to balance school and life and such, and we had several reminders to keep on with the BASICS which are so vital to our life in Christ (prayer, Bible reading, church attendance). We also had a chance to meet with the people within our school to discuss some things, and I am very excited about our leadership team! We already have some great ideas. I'm also thankful for great doctor-mentors who are willing to let us use their house and head up a lot of stuff too--the couple is a "paradox" (pair-of-docs) and are such a wonderful encouragement to me. We also enjoyed a yummy dinner at the Spaghetti factory together at the end of the conference. The pic below is of Brian J who's my main co-leader for next year and his wife Julie. They are also the couple I'll be living with next year along with another gal from my class.

So this week we got into full swing on tissue-pathology. We have all these cool pathologists explaining stuff to us, and it's challenging for sure, 1) because i've forgotten a lot of my normal histology and 2) it's pretty new stuff and can be kind of subtle to tell what's normal and what's not. We also started learning about cancer, which is quite interesting as well. It's only a few mutations that keep the normal cells in our bodies from going whack out of control and becoming purposeless masses! Pretty crazy how we're all put together so correctly. It also hits close to home because almost everyone knows someone who has had or died of cancer.

Anything else? Well, not too much besides school, staying healthy, not sleeping enough, and having fun on the side. On Wednesday we had our first meeting for our Indonesia trip which was really exciting--we got to meet each other and hear more about what we'll be doing. What an adventure that lies ahead!

Anyhow, I that's it for now. It was a beautiful day, and I'm thankful.

A word about etOH

2007-04-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

It's interesting how hypocritical the medical world can be regarding alcohol use. Doctors have some of the highest rates of drug and alcohol abuse. In class we have learned over and OVER and OVER in multiple body organs and venues how alcohol damages the body's normal processes and can cause great damage over time and even present short-term toxicities. AND YET, there has been a consistent yet subtle pressure to use alcohol as a coping mechanism by both professors and students. For example, when a professor would present a difficult subject, he would several times prefaced the powerpoint slide with "just sit and stare at this a while with a glass of merlot." And it wasn't just 1 prof, it's been several. Another example is that after every test, there is an official class get-together at a bar, where many students drink their stresses away in celebration. The pairing of alcohol and coping, I believe, is setting people up for a crash if the pattern continues.

Thankfully, I don't have to drink and choose not to cope with stress that way, and have other friends in class who don't either. But it does strike me as strange in the juxtaposition of the two sides. I know that alcohol use does not equal alcohol abuse, but in a particularily stressful environment, if one is not careful, I can imagine it being a kind of slippery slope. I also realize that people can be self-controlled with alcohol, and that there may be some health benefits to a small amount of alcohol, but I just choose not to go there I guess and so rather find other ways to have a good time and improve my own health.

Ketch-up: The Other World

2007-04-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

So my last post was primarily about school. To catch up on a few other things briefly:

Next year I'll be living with a few other Christians from my class with the vision of our house being a "Lighthouse" for us to encourage each other, other Christians, and classmates--a place of refuge, fun, and learning to live in community. We are very excited, though the whole house-hunt thing (and the fact that I'll be living with 3 other people!) has been a new experience for me but I think it will be really good and since I am friends with these people it's gonna be awesome.

This summer I will be going to Papua Indonesia (also called Irian Jaya) on a medical missions trip with the Summer Medical Institute NW in conjunction with the Luke Society (www.lukesociety.org). In brief, our trip will involve visiting remote villages in the interior and serving them with medical and dental clinics. I will get to practice my skills and learn many new skills. I'll probably explain more later, but you can find out more about SMI from http://www.newheights.org/sminw/ and newheights.org is the free clinic that I work at with my preceptor, who is a Christian and is leading our expedition this summer. God is so awesome to provide me with this opportunity and I am SO excited about what I will learn and how I will get to serve people who are so untouched by the world.

Other news? I was able to go home for Easter with my family which was great because I was in China last year celebrating from afar. I love Easter tremendously because of the great sacrifice of Christ and His VICTORIOUS resurrection which provides for our redemption and hope of eternal life! The music at church was AWESOME, and I also visited my home church, The Apostolic Faith Church in Seattle where it was wonderful to see people. One of my good friends from college also had a bridal shower, and so I was able to see several people from college that I had not seen for almost a year!

What do I do for fun? I've been trying to exercise when I can--there are great trails around here, and we have a super-nice new gym down a short tram ride! away. I also have been playin guitar, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends on a worship night or with one friend who plays violin. My friends and I do all sorts of things I suppose--eating, cooking (my first real Sushi night! and watched the Incredibles!), talking, playing games, movies, and adventures into these cute little neighborhoods in Portland that have good restaurants (i.e. Papa Hadyn's is this AMAZING dessert place on NW 23rd or Mcmenamin's ). Portland is actually a pretty neat city. I don't realize how much bigger Seattle is though until I go home, which is kinda strange. Anyhow, there's not tons of time for play, but we make time because otherwise we go crazy!

Well, I suppose that's all I'll share for now. I am continuing to build friendships and enjoy the fellowship of those around me. Back in February I attended the Western Region CMDA conference in Cannon Beach which was a fabulous and inspiring time of good food, fellowship, the beach, and wonderful Christian docs and dentists speaking on how they have served far away in places like Pakistan and close by in free clinics and serving students. I was even able to help out by singing with the worship team! This weekend I'll be going to a conference for CMDA for student leaders for next year as I will be sharing in leadership for CMDA and am excited to see what God will do through that!

Please continue to pray for me.

Ketch-up: The School Thing

2007-04-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

So it has been forever since I've blogged. I think that is the hard thing about blogging--once you get off, it's hard to catch-up. But since I went home recently and a bunch of people said they check this, it's worthwhile to write a bit (or a lot).

Hm. Well, I'll start with an update on school things. We've just finished our physiology and pharmacology course, which was probably our hardest course yet because of the vastness and intricacies of everything, though it still amazes at all of things we've learned this year and that I don't still remember. In physiology we learned many of the major systems of the body--nervous, muskuloskeletal, cardiovascular, respiratory, renal, GI, and other things like acid-base balance, toxicity, and a WHOLE bunch of drugs (how they work, what they do to the body (pharmacodynamics) and what the body does to the drug (pharmacokinetics...things like dosing, absorption and elimination, how the docs figure out how much drug to give you)). I guess we're really becoming doctors? I still can't put much clinical knowledge to this stuff, but it's interesting for sure. We've done a variety of interesting labs--doing pig surgery, collecting our own urine and doing experiments on that, measuring our lung capacities. By the way, being in pig surgery--we got to see and FEEL a beating, LIVE pig heart after we did our experiments. We also got to see and feel after it went into atrial and ventricular fibrillation which is when the heart's electrical activity goes crazy and from which people can die from. It was such a COOL UNIQUE experience, despite the detriment to the (anethesized) pig. I don't think I'll forget that!
Being in med school, I don't think I've ever quite studied so hard in my life in such a sustained fashion. It's been tough the past 3 months or so--but thankfully we made it in one piece (it seems, barely) to spring break, served as a much needed rest and recoop AND see my family which I hadn't seen for 3 months. Seriously, it was evident we all needed a break because even the professors were starting to feed off the class' stress.
A detour on spring break--I didn't do a ton of adventurous things, but I did see my family, a few friends, and got to sleep lots and read some books. The first Saturday the whole family was home, and so us kids went to the Grossology exhibit at the science center and "messed" around there..haha. It was nice to see the grandparents too, and on Tuesday I went with my mom to the Bodies exhibit which was AMAZING. Boy do I wish I remembered more anatomy for all that time we spent learning it. It was very cool to see the dissections, and it brought me way back to the beginning of med school. Sniff sniff. I was fortunate to spend a few days in "retreat" with myself at the beach house where our family always goes that is graciously loaned out by my Great Aunt. It was lovely--no one on the beach, beautiful weather (the first day), time to read, long walks on the beach, think, and pray. I was able to read some of my journal from 1 year ago when I went to China and remember the things I learned there. I also read a book called "The Anatomy of Hope" for our PCM class and a few other things. I came back wishing that we had 1 more week of break, but also refreshed.

Another huge component of the course has been student group research projects. Our group studied the effects of caffeine and sleep deprivation on muscle pain (we used wall sits to induce pain). Kinda interesting seeing that most med students are large consumers of caffeine and are a lot times sleep deprived. We found a few interesting results, but for the most part the whole project was an exercise in learning how clinical research works. There is a lot that goes into it -- project design, getting IRB approval (they make sure your study is ethical and safe, etc), running experiments, analyzing data, and dealing with logistics besides all the teamwork communication stuff. At times it was stressful and took way to much work, but I was defintely proud of our team how things turned out. Actually, I've been very impressed overall with the student presentations--for not being graded people have produced really interesting and quality work. Below is a funny pic we took to try to lighten things up which people appreciated and which make me crack up! This is one of my classmates demonstrating the wall sit position with another guy making sure his knees are at 90 degree angles.

Well--1 more course to go for this FIRST YEAR. I can't believe it's almost over. We're going to be studying immunology, microbiology, and cancer. I'm also taking medical spanish which I think will be very useful, though it's been quite some time since I've taken it. In our Principles of Clinical Medicine course we've been learning about the infant exam, child abuse, informed consent, public health, and will learn about dealing with death and dying among other things. SO MUCH TO LEARN! The fun never stops! Thankfully we'll be done June 15 :)

Best snow day ever

2007-01-30T22:45:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics from my best snow day ever--yes, that's right: us grad students actually had a snow day a couple of weeks ago which is practically unheard of. The beauty of it was that it was the day AFTER our test #3(i.e. no new material to really study the next day) and it was an 8 hour day we missed! Unfortunately, it screwed the rest of the schedule up for a couple of weeks, but we just finished our LAST biochem test today, and what we did that day was TOTALLY worth it. So what happened. I called up my friend Dustin to tell him that we didn't have morning class. Then he calls me up and says that he found out we didn't have afternoon class either. So Dustin and Brian came up with a grand scheme to go to Mt. Hood on our day off! Brian's wife Julie is an elementary music teacher and had the day off too, so us 4 plus another gal from our class went skiing/snowboarding up at Hood Meadows! Julie and I were beginner skiiers (I had only been once before--when I was 12 or so!), but Brian and Dustin are experts, so they helped us out. I had a grand time, it was absolutely gorgeous (until it got a bit foggy), and the company was excellent! We then went and crashed at Brian and Julie's house with some yummy spaghetti and chatted till late.

Christmas past, Winter still here

2007-01-16T22:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it has officially been a long time since I have posted. I didn't post over Christmas break--I think I was too lazy and yet too caught up in the things going on around the house. Now we've been back to school for two weeks already in this new year, and it is flying. We just finished our 1st biochemistry test--and it was a doozy. It wouldn't have been so bad I think, if there was more time to really let all those enzymes sink in and time to integrate all these metabolic pathways that lie at the heart of why and how our cells function. Alas, there was only 2 weeks for the really challenging stuff.

I really enjoyed my Christmas break--I spent 2 weeks at home with the family, which included sharing a room with my sister Emily and listening to her sleepchatter and fighting over the covers with our elbows. In a word: RELAX. I started out the break by going with a friend to Powell's bookstore in Portland--a whole city block with seemingly miles of bookshelves. I spent probably 3 hours there, and could have spent more. A great place to hang out. I went home a few days later to join the family. It was a time for reading (I read a whole novel in 1 day!), lots of board games (a couple awesome games of Scrabble--and I won both times!), a few movies, hanging out and talking, and TONS of eating. So much good eating--Mom fixed several amazing meals. I mean, by the time you have 3 birthdays PLUS all the festivities of Christmas and New Years, you're bursting at the seams. And the Hiatt family always has several Christmases...we even added one this year for my sisters' boyfriends. So we had a lot of people coming and going--boys, friends, both, family, international friends, but it was fun to share the experiences, especially with a couple of new Christians with whom this was their first Christmas as believers. On Em's birthday we went on a mishap-filled snowshoeing adventure, and I enjoyed the great beauty and winter-wonder. We also were able to spend a few days as "just us" as a family at the beach--it was freezing cold (literally frozen water on the sand), windy, and actually quite beautiful. I love how we can just be total goof-bombs at the beach and nobody cares because pretty much nobody is there to care. Our dog is able to run free and goes absolutely crazy when we throw her tennis ball or when she's chasing after birds. And I love it how, for once, Dad decided to take over meal planning so that Mom could have a break, and yet he couldn't get the boxed pizza cooked right because he didn't really follow the directions and so he had to call in the calvary. In the pics below you'll see a little bit of our crazyness over the break. I also celebrated #23 by meeting up with a college friend visiting from Chicago and hanging out with the family (and winning my dad at my new Scrabble game!). But I think one of the coolest moments overall was Christmas Eve service at the candlelight service with all of us kids and friends (minus Derek--Jess was sad) in a row singing Christmas carols and lighting up the room with the candles and with the Glory of God which is indwelling in our hearts. And I loved those moments sitting around the Christms tree where I could relax in the evening playing carols on guitar. I was able to visit my home church in Seattle and see the wonderful people there who I love dearly. Although I received some very nice gifts for Christmas, I am so thankful for the gift of family and friends, but most importantly, for the gift of Jesus.

And despite our culture thinking of Christmas as the height of winter, winter has fully come now. Today, of all days (because of the test), was the day it started snowing a little before 6am and accumulated so much that even our test proctors couldn't get to school on time! it was not a problem for me since I live on the hill. We delayed the test for an hour, and then all my other activities for the day were canceled, so I took a long walk in the snow instead, which I am now paying for with sore muscles. It was beautiful though--I do love walks in the forest. And I walked all the way to downtown, where people had gotten really creative near PSU on the Park blocks and made all these cute snow people. The roads were horrible though, and I was so glad I wasn't driving. I don't know what tomorrow will be like, but I better plan on going to school, i.e. i should go to bed now. I'll probably write some deeper musings later. I haven't had time, with frequent testing, to keep up with this as much as I'd like, but we'll see.

Other random updates:

Favorite song right now: Give Me Jesus by Fanny Crosby (on Jeremy Camp's new CD)

Favorite piece of clothing: soft scarf from Aunt Kathy

Favorite accessory: electric blanket and warm slippers

Current food kick: Thai

I've recently joined a small community group/Bible study through my church and am loving it.

Thanksgiving Revisted

2006-12-11T17:00:00.000-08:00

So I changed my mind and decided to say a few things about this last Thanksgiving with pictures:

It began with a quick drive up north Thursday morning and a lovely Thanksgiving Christmas service. Then we all geared up for the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma, and various students to come over and join for the FEAST. It was especially wonderful because as you might guess, my cooking is not quite like Thanksgiving-quality. The picture above is of the oldest and youngest cousins.

The following day we continued the tradition of going to downtown Seattle for the Macy's Parade. Jess brought a few international students home with her, and so it was fun to share Thanksgiving and what that means to us and then the after-Thanksgiving mayhem of downtown and American-style parades. When Santa arrives they spew all this confetti-snow out on the street and the kids bask in it (see picture). We even went to Golden Gardens afterward for a chilly afternoon at the beach where we roasted hot dogs and flew my dad's trick kite. That evening we hauled out the MOUNDS of Christmas decorations from the attic. The girls were so amazed, their eyes as big as saucers, at how much Christmas stuff we had! They also were quite fascinated by having an attic! We decorated the tree together and hung garlands and set up the Nativity--the family, the boyfriends, and the students all together with barely enough room to fit in the living room with all that stuff. After we cleared the table of Christmas decor, we gladly baked gingerbread and sugar cookies (mom had made the dough and icing! such a sweetheart) and gave them their due artistry. Joe even tried to make a gingerbread man with a nearly-amputated leg (using red icing) in my honor :) Those cookies were really good--I don't think many lasted the weekend.

In all, it was quiet a busy weekend with people coming and going, but it was nice to see the family, and most importantly, to express thanksgiving to God for His copious blessings on our lives. On that Sunday, the pastor at my parent's church gave a really neat message sharing the Thanksgiving messages of our forfathers--they were amazing! George Washington and Abraham Lincoln expressed as leaders of our country gratitude to God, an acknowledgement of sin and our need for repentance (as a nation), and encouraged people as individuals to look to God and give thanks. They defintely would not have been "PC" in our day. My drive home was rather uneventful, thankfully, as we had snow at my parent's house a bit the night before and they got a LOT of snow that afternoon and in the days following. And then it was back to school...but I'm very thankful to be here!

The Latest Adventures

2006-12-11T16:32:00.000-08:00

So this last Saturday I went with a friend from school to down town Portland to Pioneer square where they hold annually "TubaChristmas" (http://www.tubachristmas.org/) and it was so fun! About 200 tubas/baritones/euphoniums/sousaphones/weird tubas from all ages join to play Christmas songs and other tunes. One of the baritone players even sang for several numbers, and the audience sang too. It was so neat to hear the PUBLIC of Portland singing about Truth--about Jesus, His birth, and reason for coming. I don't know how much they believe it, and as liberal as Portland is, I'm glad there wasn't more resistance there. The director was an 89-yr old man with a lot of SPUNK and whit. Not only did he direct, but he gave quite the lecture in between songs on the tubas, composers, and other random facts/puns. You could tell that he lived for that time and that he will probably direct as long as he lives. Someone else recently told me that he played for the Oregon Symphony for 50-some-odd years and of course, still teaches tuba. Did you know that the double-belled euphonium was outlawed? Did you know that John Phillip's first sousaphone was actually called the "Raincatcher?" Dr. John Miller actually owns the first one that was made! Anyhow, it was a really neat event--the tuba makes an actually a calm and soothing sort of sound I think.

But I've been doing more music trombone myself as well--last week I went to a Christmas party for CMDA and we had our own little caroling accompaniment ensemble made up of a couple med students, 1 med-student-wife (she's a music teacher), and a doc. The cast included a trombone, flute, cello, guitar, and piano! Thankfully it came off as a success! Then that Friday we held a memorial service for the families of the body donors from gross anatomy to honor them for their anatomical gift and sacrifice. It was quite a moving service, and I am so proud of how our class put it together--the programs/booklet of memories, slideshow, speakers, music, and reception afterwards. I played a trombone duet for the program with a second year medical student and everyone seemed to enjoy it, and some were a little tickled because they had never heard a trombone duet before (and probably didn't expect me to be playing it). One of our classmates played AMAZING jazz piano to a slideshow "monatge of memories" and the some of the families spoke about their loved ones. I just have 1 more t-boning event to do which is tomorrow our trombone trio is going to do our own Christmas caroling--we're meeting before school to serenade our classmates and so that should be fun as we blast the basic science building with brass Christmas!

Histology or herstology?

2006-12-09T22:27:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been crazy these past few weeks, hence, why I have not posted. Let's see, the last time I posted was before thanksgiving, but most of you who read my blog saw me at thanksgiving, which is one reason why I didn't have a huge incentive to post.

So we just completed our 5 or so week tour of histology, AKA microscopic anatomy. Histology looks at the major tissue/cellular components of the body and how they are organized to create organs and muscles and all the big stuff we saw with the naked eye during gross anatomy. It also meant hours of peering into a microscopic at slides so ancient that even our anatomy professor (who is retiring this year) used them when she was in school here! The key to histology is pattern recognition and that comes by careful observation and looking at the (many times) subtle differences between how things look--their color, organization, structure, size, etc. and a LOT of repetition. To say the least, I COULD NOT be a histologist and do this every day for my whole career. In our tests the prof would flash up a random picture and have us identify the organ or cell type. Lemme tell ya, it was a whirlwind tour. I think the most fun lab was on blood where we got to prick each other's fingers (and thankfully I had a little experience from last summer, even though I had to prick the guy twice--he just wouldn't bleed enough!) and do a hematocrit and blood smear (put the blood on a slide, stain it with chemicals, and then count all the different kinds of white blood cells which actually look pretty cool).

Now we've moved onto biochemistry, which is mostly a review for me because that was my major in undergrad. It is CRAZY though, the pace we are going at! We have had 4 hrs of lecture a day, covering 200pgs I think in 1 week. In undergrad, class was 3 hrs of lecture a WEEK, and so we cover in 1 day what we covered in undergrad in a week! However, it is on a somewhat more superficial level, but not that much so. I'm glad I like this stuff!

I will make another comment about school that I've been meaning to share for a while now.
So you see, when I was in undergrad and even in high school with some classes, a lot of the learning I did was foundational. That is, it taught me how to think, basic ways to think about the world and how it works. But pretty much, I will likely never remember or fully use all that time I spent in physical chemistry learning about statistical mechanics or wave-functions. I still remember a lot of what I learned in the sciences and in math and writing and such (or I wouldn't be here!) but the details of the fungi life-cycle I don't remember. Percentage-wise, for the number of hours I spent in class I remember very little. The focus of learning seemed to just be to get through the next test and then to finals, get a good grade, and hopefully take away something on the grand scale that maybe you'd use in the real world. But med school is different because now I know I will actually have to know this stuff and be able to use it, which is both exciting and scary. The professors often comment on how "you will want to know this because..." and "just keep this in the back of your head." That's why I'm glad there's a lot of planned redundancy in the courses, and each course builds on the previous, allowing us to slowly put the pieces together. By the time we get to 3rd year we're supposed to know this stuff, but I hear that THAT is when the learning really begins. Anyhow, it's something I've been thinking about, and it's definitely an added motivator so that I don't try to just rush through this stuff by sheer memorization but actually try to understand and know it.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

2006-11-18T00:34:00.000-08:00

So a week ago I went home for the first time in 3 months! It was Cynthia's birthday on the 13th, and the whole family gathered to celebrate this last weekend. The driving weather was HORRIBLE but it was worth it. I totally SUPRISED her--she thought I wasn't coming till Thanksgiving, but I tricked her and it was so neat to see her so happy to have the whole family togther (she said that was her birthday wish!). We went to her school play on Friday and then on Saturday the family and a gang of boyfriends [2 official ones and 1 almost one, none of them mine though :) ] took an afternoon outing to downtown to Pike Place Market and had dinner at Ye Old Spaghetti Factory. We made quite the family rounds too--saw both sets of grandparents, which was really nice too. So I'm including some pictures from the trip home--it was hilarious how many people were milling about this weekend, and it was crazy as expected when the four of us girls get together. Mom and Dad kept saying how nice it was to have everybody home--I think they are feeling the effects of a nearly-empty nest. Soon we'll be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas though, so that will be fun. I also got to visit my home church in Seattle and saw people which was great. But even that was different--they're building an elevator so there's construction and kids are growing! Life is never stationary or static around here.

Mom and Dad ready to eat pasta & Apples at Pike Place--yum!

In other news, I've also been practicing with the trombone trio--we're hoping to play some Christmas songs for our class before Christmas. It's been nice to have an outlet to play in that's pretty low key (harhar!).

Well, now it really is really past my bedtime and I will likely pay for it tomorrow. So off to sleep I go!

So much have I learned...

2006-11-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

Life is moving at a rapid pace, and it takes work to make the time to reflect on it. I feel like I've accomplished a little bit--I've made it through my first two courses of medical school: Gross Anatomy and (the first quarter of) Principles of Clinical Medicine (PCM). Now we've moved on to main course #2: histology which means hours of peering into the microscope at cells and tissues. Some of it is pretty cool--this week we pricked our fingers and looked at our own blood. Some of it is less than enthralling, but it's important nonetheless, and perhaps the tissues will grow on me (harhar).

Gross anatomy was amazing--we went through the entire body in 11 weeks. I didn't write about this earlier, but since taking out the brain, we completed the head dissection with what would ordinarily seem like barbarious acts: we "disarticulated" and "bisected" the head. In other words, in order to see certain structures we cut the head off from the vertebral column (but left it attached to the throat) and cut the head in half so we could look all the way inside the nose, mouth, larynx and sinuses. We got to peak inside the "voicebox," which is really quite an amazing structure. We also had some really awesome lectures on surgery of the face--the lecture on facial reconstruction by the plastic surgeons was SO amazing. Society sometimes treats plastic surgeons with a little distain because they make a lot of money and we think they only fix celebs with way too much pride and money. But these plastic surgeons are able to put people's faces back on after horrific accidents, and they are much more creative than you would imagine. In one case, a woman had her eye and hand blown out by a gunshot wound, but they were able to fix her bony orbit [eyesocket] by using her finger bones from the fingers she lost!! Apparently "waste not, want not." Anyhow, it was a great relief to be done with gross anatomy as much as I liked it, and I am thankful I did well in the course. It was a ton 'o work, but hey, that's med school for ya. Gross anatomy challenged me in a couple of ways, 1) in visual spacial skills because you have to maintain a detailed picture in your mind of where everything sits in the body and be able to twist the image in your mind and see it from different perspectives and 2)there is a certain intensity to working on a dead body with 2 other people for 10+hrs a week, likely 150 hrs or something total per person (we lost one of our group members right during the beginning of the head and neck block unfortunately--she is delaying a year). I do feel like "Chester" (we named him that because we don't know his real name) was my first patient, and we will be having our memorial service soon for all the families of those who donated their bodies for our benefit. Most people feel like they could never donate their body to science like that, and I agree--it is a HUGE gift. I'm not sure if I could or not.

Our principle of medicine course is the class that teaches us our clinical skills and gives us a chance to discuss issues in healthcare. This last Wednesday we had our exam, both a written and what is known as GOSCE (gos-key). The GOSCE is our opportunity to demonstrate our clinical skills that we've learned so far, including history taking, heart and lung exams, abdominal exam, musculoskeletal, and head & neck. We are put into teams of 5-6 students and we each take a turn playing the part of "doctor" as we circulate through 6 timed stations. We are given a patient scenario, directions of what exam or history to perform, and a patient/actor. A real doc watches the student for 7 min. Then there is a team "huddle" and we discuss what we forgot or messed up on and present it to the doctor and he grades us and gives us oral feedback. As trepidation-instilling as the GOSCE was, it turned out to be a great experience and actually kind of fun. Our team worked really well together--we were so supportive of each other, and each person in our team brought something a little different so we covered all the bases. I performed a knee exam on a teenager for my station, and it was fun! I came away from that day really tired, but excited by the thought that "hey, they ARE gonna make good doctors out of us" even though sometimes things are pretty rough. I think that's the thing I really want: to be a great doctor, both in my scientific knowledge and skills, but also in my ability to relate and care for my patient and colleagues. I want to bring honor to Christ's name through this profession. I also felt good because we practiced & worked as a TEAM--I am so glad the course encourage collegiality. I feel like I am developing a good rapport with my classmates, who soon I will be working alongside in the real world. PCM has been challenging for me in some ways because I have some different ideas about medicine (especially the idea of holistic care) because I come from a very different worldview than most others in my class.

There's a lot more I could write about issues in medicine -- difficulties I am facing because I am a Christian student-doctor and things that are challenging to overcome in the profession as a whole. But in short, I think I am learning once again that "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers and spiritual wickedness in high places," whether that is pertaining to external battles or the internal battle each person has to stay close to Jesus. I'm glad for encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ. At a recent CMDA meeting, an elderly lady who had spent her doctor career serving in Pakistan told us of her days in medical school--how she pioneered as a woman and faced mistreatment and discrimination because she was a woman and a Christian in medicine and how the Lord kept her through all that. I am thankful for the times that I live in for sure, where over half our classmates are women. But I am more so encouraged by the fact that God can keep us and strengthen us through difficult times. I am reminded as I look back through things I have experienced in my life thus far: God is LORD over all the earth and I can trust Him with my past, present and future.

Put on, take off your thinking cap

2006-10-29T20:17:00.000-08:00

Every time I write I seem to make the entry longer than the last one. This week was incredible--we did some amazing things in the laboratory and I enjoyed some more good fun with my classmates.

Last weekend I finally got to see some people from my family! My grandma and aunt were visiting from Seattle for a wedding and so I joined them for dinner at the Olive Garden --yum yum! She was so kind-- she even brought me brownies, which are all gone now. That Saturday I attended a wedding, which was also attended by more family and friends from Seattle church. It was so good to see them and get to hang out for a bit. The wedding itself was beautiful--deep red and fall leaf decor, a gorgeous bride, and meaningful music, including "All I ask of you" from the Phantom of the Opera (I always thought that would make a beautiful wedding piece!!).

On Monday I went on my first "ward walk" where a couple of medical students get to follow around a resident for an hour or so and experience the hospital and listen to interesting patients. I was so excited to be in the hospital, and the resident was a really good teacher.

So I must tell about this week in laboratory! It was so exciting--we really had to put on our thinking caps (eNORMOUS amount of info) but at the same time, we took off some people's thinking caps. Yes, I really mean it--we cracked open the skulls of our cadavers and removed the brain!! Imagine our anticipation as we lift the lid, our eyes get wide and our ears center into the teacher as she snips away the connection between the brain and the rest of the body. I actually held it in my hands. It was kind of a spiritually enlightening experience as well. Think about it (haha)--I was holding a huge mass of tissue which physically contains the thoughts, memories, experiences, words, of this person. And yet--as Christians we believe that the soul continues on after death, the soul which has all these memories (how else would we know who we are in Heaven?), the essence of the person, their connection with God and other people. And so somehow even in those of us who are alive, there is something within us that is beyond tissue that will one day stand before God.

We also dissected the ears and eyes this week--amazing!!! The eye and ear are so intricately and perfectly designed, yes, designed. The Ear: designed for the transfer of sound waves in the air to waves in liquid to electical signals (in the case of hearing) and the position of fluid in the ear to give us a sense of three-demensional space and position. The eye transfers packets of light through various liquids and lenses to be changed into electrical signals which we perceive as vision. Both the professors were saying that hearing and sight actually take place in the brain--now that's an interesting thought! Without the brain we couldn't integrate these signals into a thought. Oh dear--I think I really am going to far with this philosophy stuff--but it's mind boggling (haha!)!

On the lighter side, I have really had a fun weekend, and so am putting up some pictures to tell the story. A bunch of us students went to a haunted corn maze--www.portlandmaze.org where people dress up in crazy costumes, hide in the corn and JUMP out at you and rustle the leaves as you wander the labrynth underneath a sliver moon and wide expanse of stars. Talk about having your system and senses on high alert! It really was scary because you know that there are creatures hiding but you don't know when they'll get ya. It's only fun because you're with friends and can hang onto each other and spook and laugh.

The only thing I like about Oct 31 weekend is it's a chance to play dress-up like in my childhood, hang with friends, and be creative. Thursday night I decided I would make a costume. And so in honor of the week's dissection I made an EYEBALL costume! My roommate thought I was pretty crazy I'm sure. I used whatever materials around I could find since I didn't have my parent's or grandparents' basements to raid. (By the way, that thing on my head is supposed to be the eyebrow).

This Saturday evening, Brian and Julie, a couple from my med class who are wonderful Christian people, had some of us over for a harvest pumpkin party. Julie is an awesome cook--she made a huge pumpkin stew, actually cooking a carved-out carving pumpkin and then putting the stew inside. Then when you eat the stew you scoop out some pumpkin too. We also carved pumpkins--and of course, dorky med students that we are, Brian got out Netter's anatomic atlas so he could carve a skull into his. A couple of the people hadn't carved pumpkins in a long time (or ever) so it was fun to see them get their hands all yucky. Of course, some of the people said "why didn't we just get some scapels?" we're so used to using those. Anyhow, we had a wonderful time of fellowship. I think I'm beginning to be able to let down and be my goofy self around people now that I'm getting to know them. Hopefully they don't mind or think I'm too wack :)

Pterygopalatine ganglion, vestibulococchlear, and other imaginative words

2006-10-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already been almost 2 weeks since I've posted. My apologies.

We've already finished block 3--the perineum and lower limb, so I won't really say much about that. But I have been having fun with friends: on Saturday we had another ultimate game of ultimate frisbee, which turned out to be quite intense. I think guys feed off each other's testosterone. But it was defintely a good workout, and FUN. A few of us afterward ended up (after showering...) for dinner at Brian and Julie's and then played BALDERDASH, which partially explains the title for my blog entry. Balderdash is a game where you make up definitions to OUTLANDISH words and try to fool other people into thinking that your definition is correct while picking the correct definition yourself. The funny thing is that our vocabulary for med school is actually wierd enough to end up on the cards--for example, "gubernaculum" which is part of the lining of the abdominal cavity that descends with the testis or ovary during embryogenesis. Of course, the game card didn't say that in so many words because that also wouldn't be very interpretable. Anyhow there were lots of laughs and you get the point.

Which brings me to the other half of the title. We just started working on the head and neck, including learning all about the "crainial nerves" which control a lot of your senses and major organs along with your facial muscles. VERY complicated winding things with long names. In lab, this meant the great "reveal": On Tuesday we took off the head shroud and revealed the faces of our cadavers with whom we have formed intimate relationships. It was strange, and in many ways I was NOT looking forward to it because I didn't know how I would react or feel. It turns out that I reacted very differently than I expected--I wasn't emotional in a sad way, as some were, or felt like there was a moral delimma, as some other students felt. I actually felt more of a rush of compassion. I felt like they were a person, and that I was caring for them, even though I was doing totally the opposite by taking everything apart. They felt more human. It still is strange, odd, and surreal because they cannot talk, they have no breath or pain, and the rest of their body is totally dismantled. They have no soul there. But at one time they did. And now we are receipients of the gift of what their soul did not take with it.

On Sunday I enjoyed church a lot. I went back to a place called Mosaic--a community church in the Hollywood district with a real heart "to follow Jesus in authentic community for the world." The pastor told the story of family who has a vegitative son who is given no hope for ever communicating to the world. But through technology they find he can type by moving his head to one side. Eventually the son wants to race to raise money for a paralyzed classmate. The father says that it is impossible, and yet the father trains himself and pushes his son in the race. The son says "when you do that, I feel like I'm not disabled anymore." And so begins a life of racing, triatholons, marathons, etc. all with the dad pushing, pulling, biking his son along. They showed scenes of this while the song "I can only imagine" played. It was an amazing story which brought tears to our eyes. And then he related it to how Christ, like this father, has lavished his love on us, and done everything for us and our redemption.

I am excited--today I received my copy of Voice of the Martyrs publication--a free newsletter that will help me keep abreast of the status of Christians under persercution in various parts of the world. They included a prayer map in there of countries where Christians are under severe persecution and I put it up on my wall. I first read this newsletter when I was in China of all places, and I was astonished at what is going on, especially in Muslim countries. I had heard about China's difficulties, but little about South America or Muslim countries like Indonesia, and I want to be a part of praying for my brothers and sisters who undergo such hardship. Today at our weekly CMDA meeting (Christian Medical and Dental Assoc) a few of us went on a prayer walk around our school campus, and I was really refreshed by it. We prayed for our classmates, ourselves, faculty, doctors, and patients. I am so glad there is a community on campus who have a heart for our school, as God's presence is greatly needed here.

Well, it is time to shut this random monologue off. There is much more I could say, conversations I could relay, but alas, med school requires studying, and I have done little today (1. because class went until 5pm 2. after class I went to a lecture/dinner) and this week is quite busy. Last night was fun--a couple t-bones and I spent an hr playing together and actually making music. We're hoping to get good enough to play for the students or something at Christmas, though one of the t-bones mentioned the possible complication of that not being PC. Pook on being PC. Well, of to the rest of the week which includes flu shot, basic live saving training, and STUDYING!

A time for hard work, a time for friendship

2006-10-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

Well, exam #2 is on the books now. After the exam, a few Christian friends and I gathered at a fellow classmate's house where his wife cooked us a delicious meal of homemade lasagna. We sat around the table an laughed and joke about nerdy-med school things, and just enjoyed letting down and fellowshipping after a hard weekend. We even got in a couple games of Apples to Apples--it's a great way to get to know people while having a hearty laugh. I really enjoy spending time with my classmates!

On Tuesday night I finally got together with a few second-years and did some "tromboning action". We pulled out the t-bones in the lecture hall around 9:30pm, and despite our rough sound, had a lot of fun. We're hoping to have it be a regular event, and perhaps if we get good enough, we can play for our classmates sometime.

Wednesday was another long day, especially considering what we did in the lab. Yes, this lab was the day for external genitalia dissection#2, and I approached it with trepidation because we were to reinact the Bobbit case. By the end of lab we couldn't bring ourselves to actually transect the penis, but some lab groups did. When we viewed the prosected cadaver, I could almost see the color drain from the guys' faces as the demonstrator showed them the transected tissue. The female's day of discomfort came on Thursday when the lecturer talked about the stress the female body goes through during childbirth, especially in light of how much stretching has to go on to accomodate a child's head.
Thankfully at lunchtime CMDA had prayer, and it felt really good to come together and pray for eachother and for our classmates and community. That evening some of us gathered at a local doctor-couple's house to hear a panel of healthcare workers speak on how they incoporate their work into their faith and use their life situations for ministry. It was really encouraging to hear how people genuinely "live it out" in a sometimes hostile world. An elderly lady who had served a whole career serving women in Pakistan through medicine was there too, and it was very cool to hear a few stories from her. I am quite thankful for CMDA and the kindness of local doctors and their mission to train up others. Before coming to med school, I had no idea that such great people-resources would be available.

Today is Saturday, and I have not done enough work, but I did spend time in friendship. I went for a long walk with a new gal-friend sharing our hearts, and talked for awhile with my family on the phone. Later I spent time with my extended Lebanese family at a birthday party for their twin 3-year-old boys. It felt really good to hang out with young kids who aren't afraid to touch you or hug you or climb all over you and who speak so matter-o-factly about life. They were sooo cute! And I enjoyed some good ol' fashioned Lebanese food--fatire, fatush, and BBQ tender baby ribs!!! I even tried fresh figs for the first time (I had only had dried figs before), which is particularily relevant since "Teeny" means fig.

Anyhow, it is now time to end my synopsis of the week--it's getting late and I don't want to be bushed for church tomorrow!

Fall is beautiful

2006-10-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

Study hard, play hard

2006-10-01T19:19:00.000-07:00

Med school is intense. We spend at least 10hrs (more on test weekends like this one) in cadaver lab, 14hrs in lecture, and probably 15-20hrs studying a week. Sometimse I get cabin fever, and sit outside, or go to a park (like I did today--Council Crest Park, the highest park in P0rtland), or just sit in the recliner in the living room. Or I go for long walks or short runs. But med school is such a unique and interesting experience, and I'm forming friendships with very cool people, some who have similar interests, and some who do totally wacky things and come from all walks of life. A couple Fridays ago I had a group of people over to play one of my all-time favorite games, Scrabble. I think there's quite a few people who like scrabble in our class, and we even suggested double points for anatomy words. I was suprised however, how laid back people were--I was all ready to be really competitive, instead we sat around chatting in between plays and listening to classical music in the background. There was a free BBQ earlier that evening and so we all went to that which was really nice 1 because of free food, but 2 because we spend so much time in class together that it was nice to just get to hang out. This week we've been working on the abdomen and the abyss, that is, the pelvis. There is a LOT that lives in your pelvis. We also had a few lectures on angiography, which is a method for visualizing arteries and veins by either injecting contrast or dye into them and watching it with x-rays or using a computer to create 3D images of the pathways they travel. It's really quite beautiful, especially when the arteries are all curvy twisty, like the splenic artery which gives blood to your spleen. Tomorrow we have exam 2 and it's defintely taken a lot of studying--only 3 weeks of material, but we've covered A LOT. Our exams are both written and practical, meaning we take a multiple choice test and a test where we identify structures on cadavers.

Friday I decided that I was going to organize an ultimate frisbee game for Saturday afternoon--and boy was Saturday a beautiful day! There was about 9 of us, and so we got a good run in, and some of the people there were quite good with the disc. But then we were tired, and took a break and just tossed them around, which eventually turned into doing cartwheels and handstands and sumersaults. Yes, that's right. a bunch of med students playing gymnast on a soccer field. It was a great break from studying.

So you might wonder, do you do anything else besides study? After preceptorship on Thursday night my great Uncle and Aunt who were missionaries in Argentina for 36 years were in town from California, so we had dinner together with family at Home Country Buffet. I love those buffet places, though it's hard to control oneself there, especially with unlimited desert options and all the kinds of things that I don't cook for myself like PRIME RIB steak. Oh man--I haven't eaten beef in quite a while. But as Jessica often tells my dad, "You don't get your money's worth when you're sick, you get it when you're full." Good wisdom Jess, but hard to follow.

Today is Sunday and (besides studying for our major test) it has been a good Sabbath. I am liking Sundays more than I used to I think. I mean, I love giving and serving at church, and loving people and greeting them and I miss my home church family. But at the moment, I have no responsibilities at church, and so in some ways it is more restful. Not saying that I will always be without responsibility (because eventually I want to be involved). Especially for as stressed I have been this weekend--it's like "I don't want to be stressed, I shouldn't be--I'm going to be fine." But my body tells me I am--tense muscles, tense head. Anyhow, that's one reason I love worshipping God through song and so I have really enjoyed going to churches that let you sing your heart out and raise your hands and stand if you want or sit or move to the beat or be quiet within your soul. I think my current favorite worship song is "Blessed be Your Name" because it speaks so clearly that worship is a sacrificial act--"when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, blessed be the name of the Lord." When I sing this song--"blessed be your name...on the road marked with suffering...when the sun's shining down on me...in the land that is plentiful..when there's pain in the offering...blessed be your name"--I can thoroughly relate my life situation to the fact that praise should not be bordered or bound by anything.

There is such a mixture, such diversity to the Body of Christ--one triune God and one salvation but many different parts and styles. I'm not sure where I fit in the whole spectrum, but while trying to find a place to fit, I am learning more about myself and what is important to me. It's tough, I'll admit, especially when, at some big churches, you don't know anyone there and no one knows if you're new or if you have been going there for a long time. But all that comes with time I think, and it's going to be important in the long run to find a church format/structure? and such that is going to work for me and one that I can serve in and partner with. Format/structure might include how they form community, what they teach, prayer, worship, outreach, mission, and vision. One thing I really desire is for church to be a place I feel confident bringing unchurched people, friends and classmates. Unfortunately, it's not something I've been good at in my former churchgoing years. Last Sunday at a church I went to we watched a short DVD asking us to contemplate why we go to church--out of duty? because we always have? because that's what you do on Sundays? It compared our habitual religiosity in the modern world to the pharisee's habits of washing cups, hands, pots, etc. that Jesus refused to participate in to make a point. His point being, that it was what was on the inside, the motive, that God really cares about, delights in when we go to church or pray or do anything in Him, and that he doesn't like it when we do religious things just because and then they become empty meaningless non-relational, even hypocritical, acts. Something worth thinking about.

Well, I have thrown my thoughts onto you, take them as you may.

Student ID and other adventures

2006-09-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

it's a sign that you've been in the medical school building too much when you go to grab your school ID card to swipe to get in your front door at home.

[right now i'm listening to wierd trombone music: "U-tangia"--crazy organ with wailin' bone in the twilight zone. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000016KC see sample track #9]

last saturday I went to the Oregon Symphony--it was awesome! they have student tix for $10 an hr before the concert. I tried to get someone to come with me to no avail, so I decided to go anyways and just as I was at the ticket counter pulling out my student ID this older lady at the ticket counter was trying to give a ticket to the cashier and turned to me and said, "you wouldn't happen to be a student would you?"
"Well yes I am," I said holdling up my ID badge for some reason.
"Here you go, but you'll have to sit by me" and she slapped a ticket into my hands. Her son wasn't able to go at the last minute, and she wanted to donate the ticket to a student. What perfect timing, and it was an awesome seat, right on the floor level midway back (a $53 ticket!). The concert was fabulous--it had been a long time since I had been to the symphony. So CLASSICAL MUSIC + GENEROSITY = a great evening.

[followed by trombone in agony with motorcycle noises "Concerto For Trombone And Orchestra (Motorbike Concerto): Fifth Movement: Finale]

This week in gross lab...it's been well, on the very interesting but awkward at times. Enough said since any more details might be distasteful. We're also learning how to do parts of the physical exam--we listened to lungs and hearts this week, which is a little hard to get used to in small groups since we have to practice on our peers. But it's cool that we're beginning to learn all this stuff. Key word--ALL. There is so much to learn! But I love it.

Holding life in your hands

2006-09-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

This week we had our first anatomy test--whew! I was very happy with my scores too, which is good, and our lab table actually got 1 pt extra credit for doing a good job dissecting (we were quite amazed).

On Tuesday we began our new region of the body which I'm sure will hold many suprises in it (thorax and abdomen). This week in particular we focused on the lungs and heart. The night before our dissection of the heart I had this awe-striking feeling that I was going to be holding the life-center and what we call the seat of our emotions (even though physiologically it's somewhere in the brain) in my hands. And I did--it was so fascinating. I had dissected a pig-heart in high school which was very cool, but this--playing heart surgeon basically--was crazy. Our Father has made us fearfully and wonderfully. I mean, that little fist-sized pump has to last you at least 60 beats/min EVERY minute EVERY hour EVERY day EVERY year of your life. That is one machine made to last. It's the first organ to be formed and functional--you have a primitive circulatory system/heart at 20 days after conception!! If that isn't amazing...I don't know what is.

One thing I noticed about myself this week was having the "I do" syndrome. What I mean is that when the visiting heart surgeons were in lab helping with dissections (and they seemed eager to start cutting) I felt this rush to want to put my hands in it like a little kid and say, "No, I DO." I wanted to be the one cutting, not watching, which can be a dangerous desire when you don't know what you're really doing. Maybe you know what I mean: sometimes when you ask for help you want guidance, not someone to do it for you because you're learning (though there are some situations where it's opposite). Of course, I didn't say that to the surgeons--they graciously offered us their time for free and I was happy they were there. I could just tell that some of them really wanted in on the action too which I understand!

So the mailman has to try to stuff my mail through the door old-school style (a slit) and it always makes lots of noise. Yesterday it startled me out of a nap in the recliner, and today it got me again--but what a wonderful suprise! My mom has been sending me notes of encouragement (and misplaced mail) and goodies. I think it's a record--3 mailings in one week! Mom and Dad just bought me a couple CDs from a worship group at their church--yay! (Thanks you guys...)

Which brings me to other wierd noises that wake me up. Like how at 5am the sprinklers in the front sidewalk go off outside my room window "sphish-chk-chk-chk". Or the extremely loud bus that stops and rolls by and spews toxic fumes "VaROOOMM". Nonetheless, I am very glad I have the apartment I do--and I'm sure my neighbors don't always appreciate the wierd trombone sounds coming from my apartment...

When they don't give you a fork, get creative

2006-09-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

This week was a little roller coaster-ish, but I learned some valuable lessons like what to do if a takeout place doesn't give you a fork and that in Christ we're never alone even though it sometimes feels like it. So if you read my last entry, I was feeling kind of isolated in my med school small group which talks about issues in clinical practice. Well--it happened again this week that I would have opportunity to raise my hand again and speak a word for Christ. I don't know why I've had so many opportunities so far, I just figure God has a reason for me being here. It reminds me of this passage in 1 Peter which I recently heard in a sermon about the trial of our faith being like gold going through the fire and coming out purer. But I also had a chance to talk with one of my new friends about Jesus over lunch--in a relational way, meaning that I was able to listen and ask questions and not feel like I had to punch the gospel in one fell swoop. Rather, I felt that perhaps God has been pursuing her (like He does to us all), and that I could return to the prayer of "Lord, help me to enter into what you are already doing in this person's life" that I have tried but often forgotten to pray and put into practice.

Which brings me to another subject. I went to a church recently and talked with someone about looking for a Christian community within medical school. With that, this person went into schpeel of stern warning of the dangers of "college" and college "Christian" groups to the "real" faith, and forming friendships with nonChristians and non-likeminded Christians, and I knew in some degree what he was talking about because people can get messed up and confused with all that's out there. But I piped in about how my experience at college had been the opposite--that I had grown so much in my faith through it and how important it was to form relationships with people both Christians and non Christians. I think what really got me was when he said that the point of the Gospel was "to bring people to the doctrine."
"It's to bring people to relationship with Jesus" I quickly said.
"Well, that IS the doctrine. Belief in Jesus' teachings is what we bring them to--repentance, forgiveness, deliverance..."
"But it's a relationship..." and with that I knew that we weren't on the same wavelength. I realize that I was talking to a real Christian man and I do agree that we have to believe in Jesus to be saved. But it just went to show me how easy it is to reduce Christianity to a set of bullet points rather than a live and active relationship with Jesus. Christianity can be the kind where sharing the gospel is more like getting someone to sign a contract of beliefs than introducing a Person to them. Which is EXACTLY what I was trying to tell my friend this week--that it wasn't so much about following rules (although that comes out of a relationship with Christ) but that it was about a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus.

So enough with the diatribe. On a lighter note...
I had an adventure today after I went to church at a place called "Imago Dei." On a side note, the church reminded me a lot of UCF--even the pastor had a gottee like Greg our campus pastor (well, not quite like it. Greg has a gotee long enough to braid and this guy didn't). So I have a rice cooker, and this last week I made a traditional Chinese egg and tomato dish, but it still didn't taste like the real thing (maybe I was missing some ginger?). When I eat rice, I like to eat with chopsticks even though most people use forks (ever notice that Chinese restaurants will give you a fork unless you ASK for chopsticks?). It makes it seem more Chinese. So here's the funny thing. Today I went with a friend to a Chinese restaurant and as we left I said, "Zaijian"-- the lady at the counter laughed, asked me if I spoke Chinese (which I replied with "very little"), and we talked for a little bit about where I had been in China and where she was from (Guangdong). I love talking to Chinese people about China--they always seem to smile and are happy that you would care to travel there. So then we left to take our food to eat at a nearby park. But when we got there we realized they hadn't given us ANY forks or chopsticks or napkins! We didn't want to go back and we couldn't eat it with our fingers very well. This necessitated being creative. I then picked up some sticks off the ground (there were plenty!) and I used mine as chopsticks! My friend didn't know how to use chopsticks so he just took one stick and stabbed his meat. Go figure.

Say "CHEESE"

2006-09-04T18:20:00.000-07:00

What a weekend! The family came up on Saturday night to my apartment and crashed--all 5 + 1 of them. It was so fun and ridiculous--people sprawled all over the floor, the door wide open with the screen shut to keep the air flowage, 7:1= people:bathroom. Of course us girls had to get in our chit-chat in whispers so Mom and Dad could get some rest. On Sunday the family (minus Derek who visited a friend) journeyed out west to Tillamook and on to Oceanside to hang out at the beach. At Tillamook we went to the cheese factory, of course, mostly for the samples of cheese and other goodies. And there were a lot of people with the same idea! We had a rousing pizza lunch and drove out to Cape Meares where there's a cool lighthouse you can go up in and the "Octopus Tree". Dad was so thrilled that we were visiting places of his childhood. We girls had fun taking goofy pictures (most close-ups of our eyeballs) and enjoying the views. At the beach we took naps and Dad had the courage and stamina to charge the frigid ocean waters and boogie board. Of course, we also to travel through the rock tunnel that goes through the cliff to another little beach. There were these little holes in the wall to the outside, big enough for your arm. So when we came out, us girls came first with Dad and mom behind--a perfect opportunity to scare them silly by sticking my arm in the hole from the outside and grabbing them as they went past. Except they didn't come! So I ended up sticking my arm in this hole for probably 15 min, waiting patiently (or not!) while other people passed through with curious looks. Finally I nabbed them unexpectedly as they came past. Mom freaked. SCORE!
We drove home rockin out to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Great Adventure" and grabbed some dinner fixin's to bring home. About a half hour after they left to drive back up north, I got a call from Jess that "the adventure continues"--they had gotten a flat tire in the left lane of the freeway! And the van had been so full with stuff that Dad had to unload just to deal with it. Thank the Lord that they made it to safety to fix the tire and that a state trooper was able to help them out.

Did you know how much lives in your armpit?

2006-09-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a week since I've posted so here goes...

This week in classes we learned about the axillary fossa a.ka. armpit and all the essential structures that live there e.g. brachial plexus (containing the nerves that move your arm and hands), major arteries and veins, and lots o' fat. We also began to dissect the arm--this may seem strange, but when we uncovered the hands and had to move them around, it really disturbed me, probably because, like our faces, they animate us--we talk with them, touch with them, besides all the things we do with them. I'm beginning to see the cadaver more as a person--at first it was a coping mechanism to only focus on the mechanics of the task, but now as I look at other cadavers, I begin to see their stories from the inside out: the women with masectomies or implants, the sternal wires from those with open heart surgery, the broken rib from doing chest compressions.

We also began our clinical course this week--"Principles of Clinical Medicine" which will teach us our basic clinical skills and bring up issues of ethics, the healthcare system, life and dying, etc. This week we had a panel of docs tell us about the patient-physician relationship, including a story of a JW woman who refused a blood transfusion. Afterwards, in our small group discussion, the facilitator asked whether any of us had religious beliefs that prevented us from receiving certain kinds of healthcare. Although I was a bit suprised that he would outright ask that question, I raised my hand and said that my beliefs wouldn't allow abortion, certain stem cell procedures, or physician-assisted sucicide. Though I wish I was more eloquent in how I said it, I was suprised also that no one else volunteered their beliefs--a few said what they grew up as (Catholic or Jewish), but no one claimed them as their own beliefs. A few people who were in a previous small group with me had already been exposed to the importance of faith to me. I really hope that people are not forming quick stereotypes--but what else could I do? I couldn't deny my faith by staying silent. It reminds me of my interview for this school--I had a discussion with my interviewer of my faith and told him plainly that I had firm beliefs and valued integrity and my faith, but was also happy and willing to listen and dialogue with others from different belief systems or none at all. I had no idea that this statement would be tested so soon.

Another interesting tidbit is that in the readings they included the Oath of Maimonides "Prayer for the Physician" (year 1135-1204) and in the World Medical Association Declaration of Geneva the words include, "I will maintain the utmost respect for human life, from the time of conception". However, when we took the oath of Geneva--we did not have the italic words included. Curious...

It's time for the real deal

2006-08-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

So this week was our first 2 lecture sessions and cadaver labs. Wow. The first day when we walked in many groups had already uncovered their cadavers and I almost got stuck in my tracks. The head is covered until the final block, for which I'm grateful. We want to treat the cadaver as a human patient, but it is just kind of a wierd emotional thing to see the face, especially if we saw it on the first day. But after we started "digging in" (literally...) and got into the muscles of the back, it was much better, amidst frequent uncertainty because for many of us it was our first time. Even though we have the lab manual right in front of us we kept asking "do we cut here? how deep do we cut? is this something we shouldn't cut?" I will spare you all the gross details (harhar--gross anatomy lab, get it?).. I was EXHAUSTED by the time I got out of there...4 hrs later. We had our second lab on thursday and discovered the spinal cord. IT IS A GOOD THING that it is so tough to get in there, or we all would be paralyzed the first time we did anything.

After having our first lab, I started really feeling like a medical student--kind of "initiation." But today, Friday, was our "White Coat Ceremony," the entrance ceremony where our class is introduced into the professional community as student physicians. It was great that my family could come up for it. There were several speeches (what is a ceremony without them?) and then the moment when they call your name and you walk up on stage to shake the dean's hand while donning your white doctor's coat. It really was cool hearing all the different kinds of people we have in our class--a few people with PhDs!! several with master's, and many kinds of bacherlor's degrees. Even anthropology and geology. And finally we recited the oath of Geneva--a modern Hippocratic oath. We had spent some time earlier in the week talking about professionalism and what that would mean--altruism, integrity, humilty, and a host of other virtues. As an aside, last week we shared about our hopes for the next few years, and I mentioned how I hoped to grow in my faith and understand more of how to integrate my faith and being a doctor. I want to be salt and light, I just hope that I'm being wise too with my words, as I want to be an extension of God's love to the world, and not cause stereotypes to unecessarily form just because it is obvious I am a person of faith. Anyhow. when we said the oath of Geneva together--that was what really cemented to me in the ceremony that I'm gonna be a physician and the great responsibility, privilige, and honor it will be. When you pledge that "I will make the health of my patient my first consideration," it isn't to be taken lightly.

To end the afternoon, my family and I went to the Rose Garden. Then my roomie and I went for a great bike ride on the Springwater Trail--it goes along the waterfront on the eastside of the river. Absolutely B-eautiful and the weather was fab. So begins the weekend. I should be studying right now probably, but it's Friday night and really hard for me to be motivated.

In other news...I encountered 2 racoons on my walk down to the fitness center this week, free food is awesome, and practicing trombone felt really good today.

Back from the Pack

2006-08-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

I just had a fabulous weekend away in the wilderness with my dad! Because med school classes haven't really started yet, I was able to continue the tradition (from since I was 12 years old) of going backpacking every summer. This year we went up to a place called Gothic Basin, a huge basin (trail beginning up the mountain loop highway past Granite Falls) with several lakes, waterfalls, towering rugged castle peaks, and plenty of cool rocks. Speaking of rocks, looking at some of them was like looking at a time capsule--seeing all the different layers created by tons of pressure and time. We saw brown limestone, what looked like fools gold flakes, granite, agate, and stuff that sounded (when you dropped it) like and iron or steel slab and with edges sharp enough to be a dangerous weapon. Dad and Sonata and I took off Friday morning and returned Saturday evening. It was probably a 9-10 mile round trip up to Foggy Lake, plus 2 extra hikes (one the first day after we arrived at camp and the second before we left camp the next day). The views were INCREDIBLE. We even ran into some fabulous LOADED huckleberry patches. So good even Sonata was grazing on them. Whenever I go up to the mountains and then come back below and hear songs that talk about how "mountains bow down ... at the sound of your Name" or "the heavens declare your greatness...the mountains bow down before You" -- I envision how GREAT and AWESOME our God is, that even this seeminly insurpassable and dangerous mountains which challenge man to conquer them were created by an even greater, more powerful God. When you're out there everything seems to shout praise to God...well, maybe not the soreness you feel when you're done, but it's all good. It was a great time--spending some time with dad too, pondering things...for example, my dad made the comment "wow look at this rock--so flat it looks as if it was cut with a machine." and it made me think about how human-centric we are. not that he made an evil comment, but is it nature that mimics man and man imposes his ideas on it? or in reality, is man trying to copy nature (i.e. our machines are made to cut like time and pressure had created that flat rock)?

Anyhow, enough with the philosophy. Saturday night was fun too--I hung out at a pizza place with my sister and her bf and our friend Sachiko who lives with us. Good for laughs and even some more philosophical type conversation. But now I'm back from the pack and life is moving on this week.

Getting to know you

2006-08-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

Today we learned about our first patients which we'll be officially seeing next week. They're can't talk with their mouths and they spend a lot of time laying flat on their backs, but we're really thankful for the opportunity to see them. In short, they're cadavers. At the mention of standing in a room full of 31 dead bodies, my stomach began to quiver. But then again, it is a really awesome opportunity -- some schools don't even have dissection anymore. We also got a preview of our first course--Gross Anatomy, imaging, and embryology. According to the course director, "there's a horrific amount to learn" which I believe. Though an impossible task for one person, I guess it's necessary one and I know we'll make it through step by step. Just gotta hang on tight. We got our scrubadubs because as one staff member said, "you'll want to burn whatever came in here [gross anatomy lab] when you're done." And now I really have a skeleton in my closet--actually my partner's locker (we got bone boxes and lockers today).

In other news, I finished this really interesting book called "Dominion" by Randy Alcorn. I convinced myself I needed to finish it because I was spending a lot of time with it and need to do away with the distraction. Actually, it dealt really well with the issues of racism, gangs, the Christian response to these, black history, and some interesting ideas about heaven along with a great mystery plot. It is long (603pgs) but worth it. Maybe I'll bring up some topics later to discuss.

Well, I'm hoping to go backpacking this weekend. The last really free one because real classes start next week with prep stuff this week.

The Beginning of the Transformation Process

2006-08-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

The dean of medicine spoke to us today about the journey we're embarking on...a transformation process to become a physician. I just began medical school TODAY, and so I tried to keep my cool this morning as we incoming students hovered around the coffee and pastries table. It was funny--about 9:15am I saw all these intense walkers going the same direction I am, and so finally when walking side by side with one, I pipe up, "I'm guessing you must be a first year too." That broke a little ice, and soon the chatter of new students was flowing easily. I met a lot of interesting people today, and there was plenty of time for that as we stood in glacier-speed lines to get pictures taken with white coats to put in the student directory (apparently these pictures will stay with us for a good while) and then in the id badge line (which I ended up not getting through). I was so excited to meet people because I'm used to community and friends and living with a family of 6+ in the summer time and it's a little too quiet up here. But that will all change I'm guessing soon when studies actually begin. So far it's mostly paper/web work, but tomorrow we get "bone boxes". That's a whole half human skeleton loaned out for the gross anatomy unit.

The dean talked about how "if you're a lone-ranger you will not become physcian. sure you might pass the tests, but the transfer of knowledge is not all there is to medical school." That's a good thing to know!
Another thing the dean told us about was how professionalism is one of their top priorities. The scary thing is that you could let that mean that you always have to be serious. Maybe, but I sure don't want medical school to erase my personality with all its intensity and I'm sure they don't really want to either.