So much have I learned...

Life is moving at a rapid pace, and it takes work to make the time to reflect on it. I feel like I've accomplished a little bit--I've made it through my first two courses of medical school: Gross Anatomy and (the first quarter of) Principles of Clinical Medicine (PCM). Now we've moved on to main course #2: histology which means hours of peering into the microscope at cells and tissues. Some of it is pretty cool--this week we pricked our fingers and looked at our own blood. Some of it is less than enthralling, but it's important nonetheless, and perhaps the tissues will grow on me (harhar).

Gross anatomy was amazing--we went through the entire body in 11 weeks. I didn't write about this earlier, but since taking out the brain, we completed the head dissection with what would ordinarily seem like barbarious acts: we "disarticulated" and "bisected" the head. In other words, in order to see certain structures we cut the head off from the vertebral column (but left it attached to the throat) and cut the head in half so we could look all the way inside the nose, mouth, larynx and sinuses. We got to peak inside the "voicebox," which is really quite an amazing structure. We also had some really awesome lectures on surgery of the face--the lecture on facial reconstruction by the plastic surgeons was SO amazing. Society sometimes treats plastic surgeons with a little distain because they make a lot of money and we think they only fix celebs with way too much pride and money. But these plastic surgeons are able to put people's faces back on after horrific accidents, and they are much more creative than you would imagine. In one case, a woman had her eye and hand blown out by a gunshot wound, but they were able to fix her bony orbit [eyesocket] by using her finger bones from the fingers she lost!! Apparently "waste not, want not." Anyhow, it was a great relief to be done with gross anatomy as much as I liked it, and I am thankful I did well in the course. It was a ton 'o work, but hey, that's med school for ya. Gross anatomy challenged me in a couple of ways, 1) in visual spacial skills because you have to maintain a detailed picture in your mind of where everything sits in the body and be able to twist the image in your mind and see it from different perspectives and 2)there is a certain intensity to working on a dead body with 2 other people for 10+hrs a week, likely 150 hrs or something total per person (we lost one of our group members right during the beginning of the head and neck block unfortunately--she is delaying a year). I do feel like "Chester" (we named him that because we don't know his real name) was my first patient, and we will be having our memorial service soon for all the families of those who donated their bodies for our benefit. Most people feel like they could never donate their body to science like that, and I agree--it is a HUGE gift. I'm not sure if I could or not.

Our principle of medicine course is the class that teaches us our clinical skills and gives us a chance to discuss issues in healthcare. This last Wednesday we had our exam, both a written and what is known as GOSCE (gos-key). The GOSCE is our opportunity to demonstrate our clinical skills that we've learned so far, including history taking, heart and lung exams, abdominal exam, musculoskeletal, and head & neck. We are put into teams of 5-6 students and we each take a turn playing the part of "doctor" as we circulate through 6 timed stations. We are given a patient scenario, directions of what exam or history to perform, and a patient/actor. A real doc watches the student for 7 min. Then there is a team "huddle" and we discuss what we forgot or messed up on and present it to the doctor and he grades us and gives us oral feedback. As trepidation-instilling as the GOSCE was, it turned out to be a great experience and actually kind of fun. Our team worked really well together--we were so supportive of each other, and each person in our team brought something a little different so we covered all the bases. I performed a knee exam on a teenager for my station, and it was fun! I came away from that day really tired, but excited by the thought that "hey, they ARE gonna make good doctors out of us" even though sometimes things are pretty rough. I think that's the thing I really want: to be a great doctor, both in my scientific knowledge and skills, but also in my ability to relate and care for my patient and colleagues. I want to bring honor to Christ's name through this profession. I also felt good because we practiced & worked as a TEAM--I am so glad the course encourage collegiality. I feel like I am developing a good rapport with my classmates, who soon I will be working alongside in the real world. PCM has been challenging for me in some ways because I have some different ideas about medicine (especially the idea of holistic care) because I come from a very different worldview than most others in my class.

There's a lot more I could write about issues in medicine -- difficulties I am facing because I am a Christian student-doctor and things that are challenging to overcome in the profession as a whole. But in short, I think I am learning once again that "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers and spiritual wickedness in high places," whether that is pertaining to external battles or the internal battle each person has to stay close to Jesus. I'm glad for encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ. At a recent CMDA meeting, an elderly lady who had spent her doctor career serving in Pakistan told us of her days in medical school--how she pioneered as a woman and faced mistreatment and discrimination because she was a woman and a Christian in medicine and how the Lord kept her through all that. I am thankful for the times that I live in for sure, where over half our classmates are women. But I am more so encouraged by the fact that God can keep us and strengthen us through difficult times. I am reminded as I look back through things I have experienced in my life thus far: God is LORD over all the earth and I can trust Him with my past, present and future.